The Resurection of Cornholio!
By Kenda
skull_gurl@hotmail.com			

(Beavis and Butt Head go to Lawndale)

Scene - Highland, two years later. Beavis and Butt Head are walking
down the streets. Both are the same. I'm not going
to take the time to type out their names. B & BH are the two 
aformentioned, etc, and they are also smarter...but not by much.

B - Hey, lets go find Diarreah!
BH - Why?
B - Uh, I dunno...Lets just go find her.
BH - Whatever. She said something about Lawndale before she left. Maybe
that's where she is.
B - Mmmmyeahhh!!! Come on!
BH - Kay, whatever.

Scene - Lawndale. Daria and Jane are sitting outside Jane's house. The
two of them talk about "stuff"

Daria - Yeah, I agree, but what planet do they come from? I don't MIND
aliens in my food, I just wanna know where they've been first.
Jane - I dunno. Hey, who're those two walking down the street?
Daria - (Peers over, looks startled, removes, wipes, and replaces 
glasses) Oh..My..God..It's Beavis and Butt Head!
Jane - Who the hell...?
Daria - Those two. (Points, then yells) HEY, BEAVIS, BUTT HEAD, what 
you doing here?
B - Um, you know, stuff.
BH - Beavis wanted to look for you, and I remembered something about
Lawndale, so we came here. 
Daria - Did McVicker die yet?
BH - Um, no. He just sorta went insane. Kinda the same thing.
Daria - (Smirks) This is my friend Jane Lane...Jane, these are Beavis
and Butt Head. I used to hang around them cuz they were stupid, though
now they're smart...almost.
B - Mmmmyeahhh!!!
Daria, BH, and Jane - WILL YOU QUIT THAT!!!???
B- (Meekly) Okay.
The other three laugh. Trent comes out of the house and sees the group.
He observes as Beavis acts (Subtly) as though he like Daria. You can
see the anger seething in his face, as Daria seems to enjoy herself, 
looking at Beavis like she looks at Trent.
Trent - (Quietly, unheard and unseen by anyone) That's MY special look!
She only looks at ME that way.
He frowned and went inside.
Daria - (continuing from previous conversation, starting new topic) 
....And you gotta see my room. They used to keep a skitsophrenic shut-
in in there. It's got padded walls and everything!
B - Cool. Hey, anyone got a Spritz Cola?
Daria - Oh, NOOOOOO you don't!!!!!! You know you turn into Cornholio
when you do that.
BH - Please? It's so funny, cuz now he talks about the great void!
Daria - Now THIS I gotta see! (Hands B a case of pop and watches as he
downs it all in seconds. Unbeknownst to all, Trent has walked outside
again. He stands nearby as B begins his tirade.)

B - I am the Great Cornholio! I serve the Almighty Void, in which the
entire universe floats, as do all my people, who have no Void! I've 
come to bring your people TP! The Almighty Void demands TP, lots of 
it! We must build an altar of bathtubs, and upon it we shall sacrifice
as much TP as will fit in the back of a '61 Chevy, with brilliant 
flames of lighter fluid, incense of dandruff shampoo, and offerings of 
facial tissue! Only then will the Almighty Void be satisfied!
My people must share one Void among us all! I must have TP for my Void!

BH - Yeah, the one in your head.

B - (To BH) Are you threatening me?

BH - No.

B - Then be silent, infidel! (To the rest of the group of Lawndalians)
All those who refuse to serve the Almighty Void shall be destroyed!
Their flesh shall be eaten by hamsters!  Their bones shall lie desolate
on the floor in Daria's room! Their blood shall run down into the
sewers! The Almighty Void demands that all true believers rise up
against all others and end the reign of heretics! (Walks up to Trent)
Are YOU the Almighty Void?
Trent - (Indifferently and slightly bored; cold) No. What's it to you?
(Turns B towards road; gives him a little shove) Go on, now.
B - I will not be silenced!  Remember that today you all have heard the
commands of the Almighty Void through the Great Cornholio!
(The group holds him down and makes him drink coffee)
Jane - THIS will be and interesting painting. (Holds up small camera)
Daria smirks.

THE END, STANDARD DISCLAIMER APPLIES.