By M Man
Meeeoooowwwwwwwwww!!!!!
"Owwwwwwwwww!!!!!!"
"Chris, what happened up there?"
"Mom! Sandi's cat scratched me!"
"That's because you were pulling his tail, you little piece of ... "
"Was not!"
"You were too!"
"Sandi! Chris! Stop it this instant!"
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Well, he *did* pull my tail!
And while I was sleeping, damn it!
You'd scratch the little monster, too, if *you* were a cat!
Why can't humans just leave us alone? Except at mealtime. Or when we want to be rubbed. Or be let outside.
Sheesh!
"Here, Fluffy. Come to Sandi."
Hmmph. That's more like it. Oooh, yeah, I love it when she strokes my fur that way.
"Did that little twerp pull your tail? Let Sandi make it better."
Keep it up, girl. That's the way. Mmmmm!
"Sandi! Tiffany's here!"
"OK, Fluffy, that's enough ... "
No, it isn't! Hey!
" ... I've got to leave for school."
What's this "school" crap? Some lame excuse to neglect the family cat?
"Hiii, Sandiiii. Are those new shooooes?"
Ah, *that* one. She's never given me a bit of attention!
"Yes, Tiffany. They're for walking outside on the football field. Remember the outdoor assembly today? That Tommy Sherman special goalpost or whatever."
"Ohhh, yeahhh ..."
Stop ignoring me, girl! Maybe if I rub against your ankles ...
"Fluffy, stay back. Tiffany's allergic to cats."
Allergic? *Allergic*? What the hell does *that* mean?
"'Bye, Mom!"
"'Byyyye, Mrs. Griffinnnnn ..."
"'Bye, girls!"
And off they go. To this mysterious "school." Well, at least it gets those two tail-pulling boys out of the house, too.
Ah, well, maybe I can get some decent sleep in today.
"Linda? Have you seen that folder I had out last night?"
"I put it on top of the refrigerator, Tom. The cat ... "
The cat? The *cat*? I have a *name*, you know ...
"... was trying to bat it open."
"OK, I found it. 'Bye, Linda. I'll be late tonight."
At least that one doesn't try to fool me with that "school" line.
Hey! Don't kick me!
"... and tell Sandi to keep this damn cat in her room. He was laying right in front of the door. I almost tripped over him. 'Bye!"
Pull my tail. Kick me. Forget my name. Allergic. "Damn cat."
What *is* it with people?
"Hmmm. Maybe I *should* lock you in Sandi's room. Then I won't find cat hairs all over everything ... "
Hey! What are you doing? Don't pick me up!
"... and don't scratch me, or I'll ..."
Hey! I sleep in the living room during the day! Don't carry me upstairs!
"... turn you over to the Animal Shelter ..."
Put me down! Let go!
"... whatever possessed me to let Sandi get a cat ... "
She has good taste! Hey! Where are you taking me?
"... there you go. Let Sandi deal with your shedding."
Sheesh. You don't have to *throw* me into the room!
I don't believe it! She closed the door! Let me out of here!
------------------
They're all gone for the day. And me locked in this little room.
Not such a bad room, at that. Especially when Sandi's here. *She* knows how to treat a cat.
But a cat can't live in a confined space like this without going bonkers. Or allergic. Or to "school."
Oh, hell, I don't even know what those words mean. But they sound like something that would be really bad if they happened to a cat.
Hmmmph. I can sleep on the bed for a while. But I like the sofa better. She knows that. And still she puts me in here. Sadistic human! Cat hairs, my eye!
-------------------
You know, I'd never let on, but that was a pretty good sleep. Sandi's got a nice bed.
But, damn it, this room is small. Cats gotta roam around, you know? You think I can sleep in one place all day like a - like a - *dog* or something?
Man, I'm hungry. Time for ...
My food dish! *My food dish*!
Momma Human locked me in this room and my food dish is downstairs!
Humans are so thoughtless and cruel. Does she think cats hibernate like bears?
Sheesh. Frikkin' sheesh! Cat hairs! She tries to starve me to death over cat hairs!
Hmmmph. Maybe Sandi left some people-food laying around. Humans eat weird things. I mean - raw carrots? But food is food when someone is trying to starve a cat.
What's this? I think Sandi rubs this stuff on her face. Maybe it's food and she licks it off during the day. No, humans don't lick themselves. They have no sense of personal hygiene.
Hmmm. It's not exactly Fancy Feast, but it's OK. Smells funny, though.
--------------------
Well, that was another good little nap. Sandi's guest chair isn't too bad, either.
Uh-oh. That people-food isn't settling too well. I think I'm gonna ...
BLURRRRPPP!!!
Crap. I just threw up on one of the few good beds in this room.
BLURRRRPPP!!!
This is not good. Hey! Somebody come home! Sandi!
BLURRRRPPP!!!
I think this is what humans call "sicker than a dog."
BLURRRRPPP!!!
-----------------------
A-ha! I hear voices!
"God, what a horrible day, Quinn. I think the Fashion Club should do something in memory of Tommy Sherman ..."
"I actually heard the goalpost hit him. Ewwww, that was so *gross*!"
Sandi! At last!
"I think we should.... Oh, my God! What's this all over my room?"
"Ewwww! I think your cat got sick, Sandi."
"Fluffy! Fluffy! Oh, my God, Quinn, Mother must have locked him in here all day!"
"It looks like he got into your foundation, Sandi."
"There he is. Fluffy! Let me take you outside ... "
----------------
At least I feel a little better outside. I prefer to be out at night, but after being cooped up in that room all day ...
"God, Quinn, first Tommy Sherman and now my cat. This has been such a terrible day. I feel so awful."
"Sandi, you know that girl who lives in my house?"
"You mean your cousin?"
At least this Quinn girl lets me rub up against her ankles. None of that "allergic" crap from her ...
"Um, yeah. You know, if you're feeling bad, go talk to her. She's kind of an expert on depressing stuff."
"Thanks, Quinn. I should have closed that foundation more securely. This is kind of, like, my own fault that Fluffy almost died ..."
Huh? What's "foundation"? You mean that wasn't supposed to be food? *Now* you tell me!
Ahhhh!! Thank you, Quinn! I love it when you rub my ears that way!
-----------------
You know, this has been one bad day. I really don't feel like going out tonight.
"Fluffy? Did you want to stay in tonight? I guess you're still feeling sick, huh?"
See? Sandi understands. Pretty smart for a human, if you ask me.
"Do you want to sleep on my bed tonight?"
No thanks, Sandi. I did that a couple years ago and you rolled over on me, remember?
"OK, if you like the chair better. God, Fluffy, a boy died at school today. It was awful. Killed by a goalpost."
I have no idea what a goalpost is. I'll bet it's something he was locked inside and he starved to death. If humans can do that to cats, they'd probably do it to their own kind.
"At least you seem to have recovered. I couldn't stand losing you. I'll have to, like, keep my cosmetics locked up from now on."
Cosmetics? Well, at least now I know they aren't food.
"Well, good night, Fluffy."
Good night, Sandi.
Meow.
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A Fancy Feast treat to my beta-readers, Firah and Brandon League.
Please e-mail your reactions to this fanfic to mman37x@cs.com
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