Chapter 15 - Showdown!

(The scene is "Pastroni's", about 30 minutes later)

The dinner with Sandi had actually gone quite well for Darren. He ordered a $60 veal steak, while Sandi had ordered a $75 salmon salad. He had gotten her to talk about going to the Fashion Institute, and not about him, which more than suited Darren, whose mind was still on Sanchez, and whether or not Woo had found anything. He chastized himself privately for not bringing his cell phone, fearing that any sudden "interrupting" calls would anger Sandi, and thusly put Quinn's chances at staying in the Fashion Club at risk. In the meantime, he tried to keep his attention on Sandi as she continued to drone on in her "Valley-girl" voice.

SANDI: --And like, I think I can be sooo much better than Quinn in the Fashion Designer field. (Takes a nibble from her salad)

DARREN: (Shrugs while cutting into his steak:) I suppose. You'll have to bone up on your English, computer, math, public speaking, and drafting in high school to get better grades if you want the Associate of Arts degree. Did you know you need at least a "B" average to get in?

SANDI: (Turns pale:) A "B" average? Quinn told the Fashion Club that you could get her into Circa as an intern, but she didn't say anything about the grades to get into the Fashion Institute! That is like, sooo hard!

DARREN: But true, I'm afraid. (Eats)

SANDI: (Hesitates:) Um, look, Darren--speaking of Circa, Quinn showed us the dress you bought her. It was a "Circa Original".

DARREN: Ah, yes--I remember. (Pauses:) Your point being--?

SANDI: Well, like--it's expensive, right? (Adds after a moment:) Do you have a lot of money, or something? (Darren looks slightly alarmed) I, of course have been to Cashman's many times, and I know for a fact that the dress Quinn had was worth about $800.

DARREN: (Quickly covers himself:) Oh, uh, well--my (adopted) parents left me some money, and I used some of it to buy Quinn that dress.

SANDI: (Not backing off:) But that was an $800 dress! Are you like, a millionaire, or something? How could you afford that?

DARREN: (After a moment:) Sandi, I used a little bit of my money to buy Quinn a--birthday gift. So it cost $800. So what? Here, I'm spending a lot of money on you on this "date".

SANDI: (Smirks:) That's exactly my point. I suspected that you had money when Quinn told us that you brought her that dress, so that's why I wanted you to take me here, and find out if you could afford this, which obviously you could--an' you also offered to give the Fashion Club some money to keep Quinn in. (Narrows her eyes:) How much money do you have, Darren?

Darren looked at Sandi, slightly caught off-guard. This girl had caught on that he seemed to have a lot of money, and wanted to know the amount. He thought about it for a second, then, rapidly formulating a plan in his mind, suddenly chuckled to himself, which Sandi picked up on, then frowned out of perplexity.

SANDI: (Arched eyebrow:) Like, did I say something funny, or something, Darren?

DARREN: (Now in a serious tone, the smile gone from his face:) That depends. (Pauses, narrows his eyes:) Why would you care about how much money I have? Is that what this is really all about?

SANDI: (Wide-eyed, speechless, now caught off-guard herself:) Like, no! I, uh, was just curious, that's all! (Hesitates, then adds hastily:) If you don't want to say anything about how much you have, um, you don't have to!

DARREN: (After eying her over quickly, then satisfied that she seems serious, adds with a ever-so-slight hint of sarcasm:) Good--after all, I wouldn't want to get the wrong idea about your--"real" intentions, now, would I? (Pauses, then talks with an air of nonchalance:) How's your salmon salad?

SANDI: (Looks down at her salad, sheepishly for her:) It's like, uh --delicious.

DARREN: (With the same tone of voice:) Good. (Resumes eating)

Both continued their meal in silence, with Darren secretly relieved about Sandi not delving in any further about his money.

In the meantime, at another table across the dimmed restaurant, just about out of sight of Darren and Sandi (but enough for both Darren and Sandi to be seen by them), Daria and Jane sat at a candlelight table in their regular clothing eating amidst some curious stares from the well-dressed patrons. Both girls occasionally gave their own "intimidating" stares right back, which usually would more than cause the "well-heeled" diners to turn away in fear, and back to their own meals (and business). Both girls had ordered a $30 cheeseburger plate that consisted of onion rings, soda, and fries (usually the plate reserved for kids), which drew an exasperated sigh from the waiter of their table, who had already dreaded serving such "common-looking" people in the first place. Daria, picking up on the waiter's indifference, smirked, and promptly pulled out and waved a $50 bill from the front of her jacket, and pretended to talk to Jane in a deadpan "snooty" voice about the "wonderful" service she "expected" from the "servants" of this "fine establishment" (much to Jane's amusement), and the big tips she usually gave when she came in--of course, this was the first time she was in here--and if Daria would have her way, the last time ever. The waiter's attitude then suddenly changed when he caught sight of the bill, and he was only too glad to serve them, coming up almost every ten minutes to ask if either girl wanted anything, or to inquire if everything was all right while he was constantly filling their glasses with soda. Jane would usually answer with an "a-okay" sign with her hands, (Daria with a slight, affimative nod) and the waiter would eagerly smile, relieved. Both were still eating their burgers when Daria spoke.

DARIA: How's your cheeseburger?

JANE: (With her mouth full:) Eh--it's okay, but it still doesn't beat Cluster Burger, or even the Zen's, for that matter. The onion rings taste like a "rubbery salty tire".

DARIA: Yeah--I think the meat's too damn dry or something. The spit in my mouth is struggling to keep the food moist. I have to keep drinking the soda to "back up" my saliva. (Drinks soda:) Maybe that's why "Jovo" here keeps coming around with his pitcherful of soda to pour--he knows about the crappy food they serve. Hell of a way to waste almost $70.

JANE: (Drinks her soda as well:) Yeah. (Pauses:) By the way, are you really gonna give that poor sap of a waiter a big tip?

DARIA: (Smirks:) If he keeps kissing our asses, I'm thinking about leaving him a $1 tip for all of his "hard" work--I still can't get over that "look-down-my-nose-at-you-two" sneer from him when he first laid his eyes on us, you know. (Bites into burger some more)

JANE: (Smirks:) My, but you're the big tipper, girl. (Sneaks a glance at Darren and Sandi's table:) Everything seems to be on the up and up over at "Table Ground Zero".

DARIA: (Looks in the same direction:) Yeah--Sandi seems to be behaving herself--for the moment, anyway.

JANE: (With a bit of irritation in her voice, which Daria picks up on:) And hopefully, she'll keep it that way. (Lightens up her tone:) So, how much did Darren give you again?

DARIA: About $500 for gas and this, which should leave us with plenty left--no need to worry about washing the dishes if we come up short.

JANE: (Snorts:) Not that we would, anyway--the dishes, that is. (Pauses, frowns slightly, perplexed:) Geez--Darren's really shelling the "moolah" out, isn't he?

DARIA: (Ponders:) Uh-huh--and I've been wondering about that. (Pauses:) Before I left to pick you up, I sneaked a quick peek into Quinn's room after she left for Stacy's--Darren was getting ready in the bathroom while I did this, mind you--I was still kind of worried about my bro's ability to pay for "Miss Congeniality", himself, and you and me for tonight, despite his assurances. I took a real close look at the dress Quinn conned Darren to get her from Cashman's in her closet--

JANE: --The gold one where Darren was coy in not telling us how much he paid for to get Quinn? (Smirks:) Wished you had one like it, eh?

DARIA: (Deadpan:) Actually, I was studying it to see if it could fit you so I could bury you in it after I kill you, that bridemaid's dress from my cousin Erin's wedding notwithstanding. (Jane chuckles) Anyway, I looked at the clothes tag on the collar, and saw it was something called a "Circa Original" --ironically the same company Darren's late adopted mom worked at. Anyway, I was able to make a quiet call to Cashman's out of curiousity, and I found out something very interesting--

(Note to reader: The bridesmaid's dress that Daria wore was a "Running Gag" in the episode "I Don't", of course)

JANE: (Grins:) --You found out they had one in your size?

DARIA: (Narrows her eyes:) How about if I just get up from here, pay my tab, and leave you twisting in the wind, my fellow deviant? (Smirks:) Remember, I have the money and the car.

JANE: (Faux pleads, laughs:) Okay, okay! No more snide remarks--(smirks wickedly:) at least on this subject, anyway. Seriously, what'd you find out, amiga?

DARIA: That the dress cost $800. (Jane cocks an eyebrow, surprised, whistles to herself) I think I can safely say that my doubts about Big Bro's possible money problems for tonight have gone out the window. My guess is that his adopted parents left him with a sizable amount of money when they died.

Jane looked away for a moment, deep in thought, then spoke.

JANE: You know, I just thought about something myself, Daria, especially after your little "tip quip" about our kiss-ass waiter--do you remember when Darren called you from Do Me A Donut that morning when he and I first ran into each other following what happened at the Zen the previous night when I--well--kissed him? (Daria frowns, tries to remember) He told you we had breakfast? (Daria then slowly nods, now remembers) Well, while he went to call you after we finished eating, I noticed that he left a hell of a large tip--$20--on the table. (Daria cocks an eyebrow) I pointed it out to him, and he seemed to be shocked when he saw what he tipped, and replaced it with $5. (Pauses:) I didn't think much of it at the time, but do you think he meant to do that, and then took it back when I pointed it out, so he could (hesitates:) cover himself?

DARIA: (After a second:) Hmmm--why would he do that? You don't think he has something to hide concerning the money he has, do you? That wouldn't make any sense. I mean, I don't really give a damn about my bro's money, just--(catches herself)

JANE: (Smirks:) --Just about him, right? (Daria glares at her slightly) Well, neither do I, for the record, pard. (Pauses:) The other night while we were going out to the movie, he tried to buy me--(pauses:) a bouquet of roses. (Daria begins to smirk wickedly) Shut up, don't say a damn thing, you--anyway, it was a sweet gesture, but I said no. Did you know those flowers cost $50 a dozen?

DARIA: Whoa. (Gets in a low voice:) You didn't take one rose at all?

Jane looked away, red-faced. Daria carefully looked over her friend's reaction, then slowly began to give her Mona Lisa smile, which made Jane frown.

JANE: Okay! I let him buy me one rose! (Adds quickly:) I didn't want him to go to all that trouble of spending a whole lot of money on me, all right?

DARIA: (Enjoys this:) Awwww--how romantic--one rose. (Wiggles her eyebrows up and down in a suggestive way:) Did he whisper sweet nothings in your ear, too?

JANE: (Glares:) ANYway, my point is, is that he was willing to spend that much money on me, capeesh? I now agree with you that's he's got to have a sizable amount of money--(pauses:) now that I think about it even more, I can't recall a time that he didn't pay for everything for us since I've come back here from vacation with my mom. I mean with the pizza, the arcade tokens, the movies, this--

Daria looked into space for a moment, frowning, then gave Jane a look that seemed to say, "Is that it?", a look that Jane picked up on immediately.

JANE: (Sounding eager, slowly twirls her hand to will out the answer from Daria:) Sooo--?

DARIA: The Appletons, Jane--somehow or another, their deaths have something to do with Darren having money. (Jane ponders this) Hmmm--Darren said his adopted mom worked for Circa clothing, which we've since found out is part of Appleton Industries, right? (Jane nods) He said his adopted dad worked in computers, and Appleton has a computer division--

JANE: (Cuts her off:) --Daria, are you saying that both of Darren's adopted parents worked for Appleton Industries, and that somehow or another they were beneficiaries when those filthy-rich "Appleton" people died?

DARIA: It makes sense when you think about it, Jane. The question we know is--how did Darren's adopted parents die? They weren't in the same crash as that "Arthur Jr." guy's parents unless--unless--(slowly gets a look of realization on her face:) no--that's nuts--(looks at Jane uneasily:) isn't it?

JANE: (Hangs on Daria's every word:) What? What?

DARIA: (Tries to convey her words:) That--that--those--those--"Appleton" people who died in that jet plane crash were Darren's adopted parents? (Jane stares at Daria, stunned, her mouth agape)

(Scene changes to the Suni Apartments, the hallway outside of Sanchez's room, about the same time)

The body of the late Julio Sanchez, now covered in a bodybag and on a stretcher, was being rolled out of his room. Meanwhile, Leroy, David and the fat man were leaning on the cracked plaster wall talking to a police officer in the hallway when the body rolled by. The fat man took a glance at it, and promptly began to vomit again, this time on the floor. David, Leroy, and the officer looked at the fat man, rolled their eyes, disgusted, and shook their heads slowly. Several people down the hallway who were held back by another officer, presumably the other tenants, turned their heads away in disgust, more by the fat man's display of "tact" (or lack of it), rather than by the sight of the body, for they had seen many bodybags on stretchers before in this run-down hellhole of a building, some from drug overdoses, some from murder. The custodian, an old man in a tanktop and baggy beige pants, and who had cleaned the bedsheet that the fat man had vomited on earlier upon seeing Sahchez's dead body, was allowed to come up and clean the contents. He glared at the fat man while sprinkling some powder on the vomit, and spoke.

CUSTODIAN: This is absolutely the very last damn time that I'll do this, you lousy, cheap-paying, fat slob! Have you got no stomach, or something? (The fat man glares back briefly at the custodian while wiping his mouth, embarassed, while Leroy, David, and the cop chuckle quietly)

Meanwhile, Gerald Woo sat in a chair in the middle of Sanchez's room, rolling his eyes, while a scruffy-looking, black and grey-haired short man in a ruffled black suit, presumably a police detective, stood in front of him, writing on a notepad, while a poilce photographer was nearby, taking pictures of the apartment, now a crime scene. The detective then spoke in an annoyed, angry tone.

DETECTIVE: (Frowns:) Damn it, Woo! Why in the hell didn't you tell us when you found out that Sanchez wasn't everything he seemed to be after you discovered he worked on that fuel line on the Appleton's plane at LAX? We could've hauled his ass into the damn station, and found out who hired him!

WOO: (Through clenched teeth:) I told you, Lt. Keller, I had only circumstantial evidence! That's why I wanted to find Sanchez, and get him to tell us who hired him! Don't you realize that if you had put out a full-scale manhunt on Sanchez, that it would've alerted whoever hired him to silence Sanchez--

LT. KELLER: (Cuts Woo off, his voice even louder:) --Which happened ANYWAY! It didn't make a damn bit of difference, Woo!

WOO: (His voice becoming louder, which is rare for him:) Only because they sneaked an electronic bug into my office, which I obviously didn't know about, and found out where Sanchez was! (Adds:) I called my secretary Carla to look for it and any others while you guys were coming over here, and she found only one under the front lip of her desk--

LT. KELLER: (Still loud:) --And that doesn't do us a whole damn lot of good now, does it?

WOO: (Ditto:) You can check it for fingerprints!

LT. KELLER: (Glares:) Oh, we'll do that, don't you worry--not that I suspect that that will do any good, either! (Pauses, looks down at his notepad:) We have an A.P.B. out on the suspects that you, your men, and fat-nasty out there described, as well as the sportscar they were in, with the license number "TAFKA". (Looks up, narrows his eyes:) Who's your client, Woo?

(Note to reader: "A.P.B." means "All points bulletin"--duh!)

Woo took a deep breath, then spoke.

WOO: I'd--rather not divulge that information right now, Lt. Keller --only to say that my client is--associated with Appleton Industries. (Lt. Keller frowns)

LT. KELLER: "Associated", huh? May I ask why you don't want to tell me, Woo?

WOO: On the simple fact that my client's life could be in danger if I do.

LT. KELLER: In danger, eh? Are you saying that this "client" of yours is working at Appleton right now?

WOO: Actually, no, but still, I think it's best if he or she stays in the background, for now.

LT. KELLER: (Ponders:) Uh-huh. Background, you say. (Adds with a bit of a sneer in his tone of voice:) Well, I'm wondering if you think that whoever hired Sanchez might go after your client, since he or she was the one that hired you to find Sanchez and expose them? You were bugged, remember? Is it possible you or your men might've leaked something that whoever hired Sanchez overheard, and that could possibly threaten your client?

WOO: (After a moment:) I--don't think so.

LT. KELLER: (Snorts:) Yeah--right. We could protect your client, you know.

WOO: (Cocks an eyebrow:) From what, Lt. Keller? Do you honestly think that whoever did this would go after my client if they knew the police or even the F.B.I. were protecting him or her? No, my client's safe where they are, and even if they took the protection you offered, they could feel like they were in a bubble, possibly for the rest of their lives, looking constantly over their shoulder. (Pauses, thinks a second more:) Forget it.

LT. KELLER: (After staring at Woo for a long moment:) Is that your final answer?

WOO: (Smirks:) Is this "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire", now? (Lt. Keller gives Woo a warning look) Sorry. Look, it's possible now that whoever did this might not go after my client since Sanchez, the one obstacle who could've exposed them, is dead.

LT. KELLER: (Gives Woo a look of doubt:) Do you really believe that?

Woo slowly looked at Lt. Keller, deep in thought, then spoke.

WOO: (Sighs:) I don't know what to believe. (Pauses:) All I know is, is that I failed my client, and I don't like having that feeling.

LT. KELLER: Who does? What do you have to lose, Woo? Tell us who he or she is, so we can protect them.

WOO: It's not that simple, Lt. Keller. You see, my client is staying with their birth family, a family that is laying their eyes on my client for the first time ever, due to a rather tragic set of circumstances. In fact, my client's birth family doesn't know who my client really is. If I tell you who it is, they'd know, too, and it could create a bit of a--messy situation, what, with all of the questions that would be asked by them, and such, not to mention that my client's birth family could be put in danger themselves.

LT. KELLER: Hm. That does rather complicate things, doesn't it? (Adds:) You do realize that I could get a court order and force you or your men to disclose who your client is?

WOO: (In a cool tone, leans back in the chair:) Of course--the choice is yours--if I or my men cooperate, that is. (Smirks smugly)

Woo's tone frustrated Lt. Keller, having heard this before.

LT. KELLER: You and your men aren't going to cooperate, are you? (Woo slowly shakes his head no, then Lt. Keller adds:) Are you willing to risk jail time to prove your freaking point? (Woo slowly nods his head yes) Woo, we've known each other for how long--15 years, now?

WOO: Just about--and this means--what?

LT. KELLER: (Glares, sighs:) It means I'm wasting my time, having seen you do something like this on several occasions before for your clients. (Through clenched teeth:) Go, get the hell out, Woo. (Woo gets up and starts to leave) Oh, and by the way--(Woo stops, then turns to Lt. Keller, who gives Woo a warning look:) your ass is grass if your client dies, got that? (Gets into Woo's face:) I'll come down so hard on you, you'll wish that you had never even became a detective, that you never even came into this city, that you were never even BORN!

WOO: (Cooly, smirks, looks up:) Let's see--that's now a hundred times you've given me this threat, right? (Lt. Keller turns red with rage) I'm still here--(looks Lt. Keller in the eye, now in a serious tone:) and my client will be too--count on it. (Leaves the room)

Woo walked out of the apartments with Leroy and David, while several TV reporters and cameras tried to go past them into the apartments, and promptly got into an argument with two officers who were trying to keep them out. Woo made a quick motion with his head, and both men gathered with him in front of his car.

WOO: (In a low voice:) You know the drill--Keller will send some men to follow us so he can try and locate our client. (Leroy and David give curt nods) Of course, he doesn't know that our client is on the other side of the country, so we're okay for now. Go straight to your homes, gentlemen, and rest. We'll meet at the office at 7:00 a.m. tomorrow morning--following another bug sweep of the office, of course.

DAVID: (In the same tone:) Woo, what do we do about Darren Appleton?

WOO: (Sighs, shrugs, starts to sound depressed:) I'll have to inform him that Sanchez is dead, and we'll have to figure out our next move. (Pauses:) I'm willing to guess that this whole thing is not over yet.

LEROY: Do you think Darren's going to be the next target, Woo?

WOO: I'm almost sure of it for some reason, Leroy, though I don't know when they'll go after him. I'm working on a small hunch in my mind, but it's going to have to wait for the time being. (Bites his lower lip, looks around after a long moment:) For the moment, I'm trying to figure out how to break the news to Darren--(gets a pained look on his face, voice goes down to a whisper:) this is the most difficult thing I've ever had to do--something like this has never happened before. Damn it, we were used to find someone so they could be killed! (Frowns:) Used--and you know how much I hate that! We must look like fools! (Pauses, narrows his eyes:) No, scratch that--I must look like a fool!

DAVID: (In a soothing tone:) Woo, we didn't know--

WOO: (Now enraged, cuts him off:) --BUT WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN, DAVID! THERE WAS NO EXCUSE! (David and Leroy are taken aback by Woo's tone, and the reporters and officer stop their argument and look at Woo, startled) (Woo goes into a whisper again:) I should have known. Now, we might not catch whoever did this, and it's all my fault. All of that searching and hard work, gone up in smoke. (Suddenly brushes past Leroy and David, gets into his car, and starts it up)

LEROY: (Goes up to driver's side window:) Woo! Hey, man--

Woo simply stared forward for a moment, then slowly looked at Leroy. To Leroy, it was a look of defeat, a look of wariness, a cold look, one devoid of any feeling.

WOO: Tomorrow. 7:00 a.m. Remember. (Suddenly takes off, and Leroy jumps back, just barely)

A female reporter holding a microphone came up to both shocked men, followed by a cameraman, who was filming them.

REPORTER: (Smirks, shoves the microphone in David's face:) I thought I recognized that man! That's the detective Gerald Woo, isn't it? You two work for him, don't you? (Realizes:) Say, you came out of the Suni Apartments, right? What happened in there? We heard someone was murdered!

David and Leroy simply looked at each other expressionessly and got into David's car. The reporter followed David as he got into the driver's seat.

REPORTER: (Annoyed:) Hey, all I'm asking is a question, here!

DAVID: (Starts his car up, glares at the reporter:) And I'll give you an answer here--take a hike, Lois Lane! (Speeds off, leaves the reporter and the cameraman in a cloud of smoke, coughing)

(Scene is now in Helen's SUV, on a highway, about 30 minutes later)

Daria and Jane were following Darren and Sandi again, this time going to The Haven nightclub. Nothing more was said between Daria and Jane concerning Daria's startling revelation that Darren had to be the adopted son of the deceased Appletons during dinner--in fact, nothing else was said at all while the girls finished their food, occasionally looking over at the table where Darren and Sandi were, privately wondering amongst themselves about Darren. True to her word, Daria left $1 as a tip for the waiter, and a written tip on a napkin beneath the dollar--"Improve your damn attitude sir, and you can improve your damn lot in life--hell, anything's possible". The two girls now sat in the SUV in an uneasy silence. Jane then broke it, cutting her eyes over at Daria.

JANE: (Hesitant:) Um--Daria?

DARIA: (Ditto:) Er, what, Jane?

JANE: Ah, why didn't we kinda just ask Darren if he's that "Arthur Appleton Jr." guy? (Adds:) I thought you would've gotten up and went over to their table, and you know--?

DARIA: (Smirks:) Funny--I was thinking the same thing about you. (Sighs:) Two reasons I didn't, Jane--(1) he's with Sandi--if we confronted him, it could mess up Quinn's standing in the Fashion Club if she saw us, and (2) I want to be absolutely sure he is the mysterious "Arthur Appleton Jr.". (Pauses:) If you're game, I'd like to check on a few things tomorrow, okay? We don't want to be wrong about this, and I'd rather we'd want to have overwhelming evidence on our side.

JANE: (Grows quiet:) Yeah, yeah, you're right--good idea. Geez--he's gotta have a good reason if he's that "Appleton" guy, right?

DARIA: (Looks distant:) I--guess. I should have detected all of the clues he was inadvertently giving me, with all of the hesitation in trying to tell me the truth, his wanting me to "overlook" certain things, and it's--that--well--

JANE: (Cocks an eyebrow:) --Gooo ooon--

DARIA: --If he's been--misleading us--

JANE: (Rolls her eyes:) --Oh, now, you're being coy, Daria--you really want to say "lying, to us"--(Daria glares at Jane) but I'm willing to listen, anyway--

DARIA: --IF he's been misleading us, then I wonder if he's been misleading us about what happened with his fiancee Stephanie Reardon, and well--(in a very low voice:) whether or not he's really proud that I'm--his sister.

Jane looked at Daria, stunned at her remark, actually more by Daria's candor than by Daria's wondering about Darren's brotherly pride over his sister or about Darren's late fiancee. Daria had always been a master at hiding her feelings, though Jane could ever-so-slightly see the subtle twitches in her best friend's facial and vocal features whenever Daria would convey her opinion about something. Here, it was a feeling of disappointment, of being let down a little by her brother. Whatever the case, Jane, privately believing in Darren's reasons in possibly pretending he was someone else for her own reasons, had to stop her friend's slowly forming doubts, or risking seeing Daria's cynical nature, which had actually gone down some, thanks to Darren's presence, come back with a vengeance. Quietly, but confidently, Jane spoke.

JANE: Look, Daria--I don't know what to think about why or if Darren has done what he's done. I do believe that he is telling us the truth about Stephanie Reardon--there's really no reason he'd lie about something like that. And girl, there's no way in hell that I can believe he lied to you about his being proud that you're his sister. He beamed with pride when he talked about you to me, the same for Quinn, though he seemed even more enthusiastic about you and your writing. Remember, he told the Fashion Club --the Fashion Club, mind you--that Quinn was his cousin, and not you--that in itself was proof enough for me.

DARIA: (Sighs:) I--suppose, Jane--(pauses:) you--you're not angry over Darren and what he's possibly done, are you?

JANE: (After a moment of silence, in a quiet tone:) Daria--he saved my life. How could I get "angry" over someone who did that? I'm kind of confused over what he did, IF he did it, yeah--but I like him--period. He's a great guy. (The corner of Daria's mouth turns up ever-so-slightly) Like I said, he's gotta have a good reason if he pretended to be someone else. We'll just find out once and for all tomorrow, (adds, looks determined:) and even if he is this "Arthur Appleton Jr.", well, it's not gonna change a damn thing for me, and how I'm starting to feel about him. (Daria cocks an eyebrow, then Jane sighs) Sorry--I guess liking someone does that sort of thing to you.

DARIA: (After a moment:) I guess it does, oh "Partner-In-Crime". Now when I think about it, you're right--he is mine and Quinn's bro, and my mom and dad's son--the DNA tests confirmed that--so I guess he does have a good reason to do what he did--at least I hope he does--

JANE: (Smirks:) --IF he's "Arthur Appleton Jr."--

DARIA: (Ditto:) --IF he's "Arthur Appleton Jr.". (Narrows her eyes, realizes:) Hmmm--I just thought about something else concerning my Big Bro--

JANE: --I'm almost afraid to ask, but do go on.

DARIA: I'm wondering if he's "Arthur Appleton Jr.", then if he's also our "Mysterious Benefactor". (Jane frowns, deep in thought) It would make a certain amount of sense, here. He was with me when I talked to Trent and Mystik Spiral in the cellar when they came back from their "tour". He knew about the guy's disdain for insurance, though I'll admit he didn't know about their disdain of banks, at least I don't think so. The only other problem I can think of with all of this is that he didn't know you or Trent at the time, so he couldn't have given the band that money for you. (Pauses:) Sooo --why would he do that if he did it?

JANE: (Shrugs:) I guess that's something else we can mark down when we check tomorrow. (Glances in the passenger side mirror absentmindedly:) Hmmm--call me crazy--

DARIA: (Smirks:) --Okay, "Crazy"--what's up?

JANE: (Still looks in the mirror:) Is it my imagination, or have those same headlights behind us at a distance been following us since we left Pastroni's?

DARIA: (Now glances in the driver side and rearview mirrors:) I don't know--headlights are just headlights to me. How can you tell?

JANE: I dunno--I could've sworn those were the same headlights, that's all. (Shrugs, looks forward:) Ah, it's probably just eating too much dried cheeseburger.

DARIA: Or eating too many rubbery-tasting onion rings. Hey, we're here at this uppity-disco dance hall. Strap yourself in for "stupidity personified". (Gets out with Jane)

Darren and Sandi walked into the vestibule to the high-class teen-oriented nightclub, where they promptly met a huge, muscle-bound bald man with an earring, probably a bouncer, to Darren almost as large as that "Rocco" he met that night in the Zen. The man had a stern look on his face, with his arms crossed, looking Darren and Sandi over. Another man, much smaller and thinner, with a bony face, and obviously wearing a toupee, came from behind him, and took the money that Darren paid ($50 each for him and Sandi), and let them by. A minute later, Daria and Jane came up. By this time, several other people were in line ahead of and behind them, waiting to get in. Jane, in front of Daria, leaned back to her, and spoke.

JANE: (Glances at the man, in a low voice:) Hellooo--King Kong at 12:00.

DARIA: (Smirks, in the same voice:) Hmmm--I wonder if that guy could take on your "good buddy" Rocco?

JANE: (Cocks an eyebrow:) Pardon? How, my dear friend, is Rocco my "good buddy"?

DARIA: If it wasn't for Rocco, you wouldn't kave kissed my bro in the Zen, and you two would've never gotten together. (Jane rolls her eyes, blushes slightly) Ahhh, "Fate" occurs in the strangest of ways.

JANE: If that's "Fate" with Rocco, I'd rather take my chances with "Luck"--it sounds like a hell of a better term.

Both girls moved up in the line, and came to the big man, who took one look at the two and smirked.

MAN: Huh--you two don't look like you belong here. (Daria and Jane frown)

DARIA: (Deadpan:) Wow--you've read my mind--I was thinking the exact same thing about you--I think you'd be right at home in one of those scientific research labs--I hear they're looking for muscle-bound lamebrains who show off their usual inordinate amounts of stupidity to compare to the superior intelligence of the amoebas that are in those little petrii dishes. If you call now, I'm sure that the scientists there will make an appointment for you--(glances cooly at the now-scowling man, while Jane smirks, and couples behind them snicker:) though in your case, they'll take one look at you, and probably hire you on the spot.

MAN: (Furious:) Why you little--just for that, you can--

Daria pulled out $200 from her pocket (part of the money Darren had given her), and waved it just as the other man came from behind the large man. The smaller man's eyes lit up when he saw Daria's money.

SMALL MAN: Well, just don't stand there, Curly--(Jane snickers a little at the name, and whispers something into Daria's ear, and Daria smirks) let these two young ladies through!

CURLY: (Red-faced:) But Mr. Shaw--

MR. SHAW: (Scowls, cuts him off:) --No buts, Curly! Let them through, okay? (Frowning, Curly lets a smirking Daria and Jane by) I'm so sorry about that scene, ladies--enjoy yourselves.

Daria gave Mr. Shaw $100, and Jane looked around to Curly, who was still watching them with a surly look, and spoke, smirking.

JANE: Hey "Curly"--say hello to Moe and Larry for us, will you? I just loved those scenes where Moe smacked you upside the head when you did something stupid--which, now when I think about it, usually occured all of the time--nyuk, nyuk, nyuk! (Walks off with Daria, and both follow Mr. Shaw, while Curly clenches his teeth at them for a second, then grudgingly goes back to checking out the patrons who are still in line.)

Both girls walked into a huge, open room packed with young people. Unlike the Zen or even the slightly better-kept McGrundy's, this place was basically clean in appearance, with a section of tables and a bar on the side (that sold only non-alcoholic drinks--this is a teen-oriented nightclub, mind you), and brightly-colored walls and floors, with flashing neon lights. The patrons were "ordinary-looking" (as opposed to the Goth-looking teenagers in the Zen), and clean-cut, (though most of the young ladies were wearing skimpy dresses similar to Sandi's) or as either Daria or Jane would label them, "Preppies". TLC's Unpretty was playing, and everyone was dancing to the beat. Mr. Shaw turned to the girls and shouted over the loud music.

MR. SHAW: Well, here we are, ladies! Enjoy yourselves! If you need anything, just call me!

DARIA: (Just as loud, looks around at the scantily-dressed girls:) What should we call you--"The Head Pimp"?! (Jane smirks)

MR. SHAW: (Leans over to Daria:) What?! I still can't hear you! Ah, it doesn't matter! Have fun, ladies! (Leaves, while Daria rolls her eyes)

JANE: (Looks around with Daria, in her loud voice:) What do you want to do, Daria?!

DARIA: (Ditto:) Actually, to get the hell out of here, but since I can't, let's go over to that phony bar for some fake martinis, or something!

JANE: Sounds perfectly reasonable, amiga! (Follows Daria, but steals a look in the crowd for Darren while she does)

Meanwhile, after coming in, (by which Sandi had gotten stares from jealous girls who swooned after Darren, something Sandi had anticipated and thoroughly enjoyed seeing), Darren and Sandi had started to dance, though it seemed to Sandi that Darren's heart was not in it, for he kept looking around, as if he were trying to find someone (Jane and Daria, of course). She spoke in a mildly annoyed tone, above the throng of humanity.

SANDI: Darren! Like, is there something wrong?! You look like you're dis--dis--distracted, or something!

DARREN: (Quickly looks back down at Sandi:) Eh?! Oh, I'm just uh--looking at how big a crowd is in here, that's all! This Haven can really pack them in, huh?!

SANDI: (Shrugs, gives a quick look around herself:) I, like, guess! I heard it's always like this! (Gets a wicked smirk:) Come on--show me what you can really do, Darren! (Suddenly snuggles up against him, in a gyrating motion)

Darren's eyes lit up as wide as they could get, and he froze at Sandi's rather--suggestive dance movements for a moment, then backed off, shocked, while people around them continued to dance.

DARREN: (Now stops dancing, scowls:) Sandi! What do you think you're doing?!

SANDI: (Scowls herself as well as stopping her dancing, too:) I'm like, trying to get you to have some fun, Darren! It is part of the "deal", remember?!

DARREN: (Narrows his eyes, in a firm tone:) No--the "deal" was for me to go out with you so you wouldn't kick Quinn out of the Fashion Club, nothing more, nothing less! Trying to do--(motions:) this wasn't a part of it! I told you I have a girlfriend, Sandi! Maybe you're used to going out with guys who don't give a damn about two-timing their girlfriends, but I won't do that to Jane, got that?!

SANDI: (Pouts:) Hey, you don't have to, like, be so postal about it, okay?! I won't do that anymore, if you feel so strongly about it!

DARREN: (Calms down somewhat:) I do! (Sighs:) Now--are you ready to continue without the--"intimate" contact?!

SANDI: (Rolls her eyes:) I, like--guess! (Begins to dance again with Darren, though at a bit of a further distance from him)

Daria and Jane went up to the "bar", and sat down. The "bartender", a brown-haired woman in her early twenties, came to them, talking over the current loud music.

BARTENDER: What'll it be, ladies?!

DARIA: (Puts her hand on her forehead, and her elbows on the counter:) An asprin and some water, please--and a tommy-gun to quiet this damn crowd! (Jane smirks, but so does the "bartender", who reaches under the bar counter and gives Daria the asprin and a small glass of water, which surprises Daria a little)

BARTENDER: Yeah, it is pretty loud in here, isn't it?! It's like this most of the week, but especially the weekends, as you might imagine! (Looks at Jane:) What will you have?!

JANE: Gimmie a club soda, bartender! (The "bartender" does so) You seem to be the first "normal" person here we've met since we came into this "preppy-rathole"! Is this just a part-time job for you, or something?!

BARTENDER: (While giving Jane the soda:) Yep! I go to a college nearby, and this "job" provides me with some extra dough, though I could use a little more cash from that miser of an owner, Shaw! Did you guys meet him when you came in?!

DARIA: You mean that ol' Hugh Hefner wannabe?! (Smirks:) Yeah--we were escorted in by him--I waved some money in his face, and he drooled at it! (Pauses:) He's a regular bloodhound when it comes to getting money, huh?!

BARTENDER: Uh-huh! Too bad he doesn't give it out as much! I'd quit, but this is the nearest best-paying job to my college! You sure you don't want anything else?!

DARIA: (Shrugs:) Well, I suppose I can get something else--give me a root beer! (The "bartender" does so)

Just as the music was dying down and changing to another, quieter song, two teen-age boys, one, a tall fellow with a ring in his eyelid, and the other, a short one with a crewcut, came up to the bar, with the tall one going over to Daria, and the shorter one going over to Jane. Both boys had leering looks.

TALL BOY: (Grins, gets into a "seductive" tone:) Hello, ladies! (Looks around:) Are you two all alone in this big ol' place?

DARIA: (Deadpan, looks around as well, sarcastic:) Gosh, I think we are, but I could be mistaken, you know. I suppose if one eliminates all of these people in this building that are here right now, including the bartender, here--we would be alone. Otherwise, I can't be too sure. (Narrows her eyes at the boy:) What do you think?

TALL BOY: (Grin slowly goes from his face, looks foolish:) Oh, uh--yeah--right. What I meant was, did you two come here alone?

JANE: (Smirks:) Nope--we came here with each other--(raises her eyebrow up and down in a suggestive way:) if you know what I mean. (Daria looks at Jane out of the corner of her eye, and smirks ever-so-slightly)

SHORT BOY: (Looks between Jane and Daria, alarmed:) Y-you mean you two--

DARIA: --Uh-huh--alone. Just-me-and-her.

TALL BOY: (Frowns:) Crap. Sorry, uh, excuse us--(leaves quickly with the short boy while the "bartender" smirks)

BARTENDER: May I ask you two a question?

DARIA: (While drinking her root beer, looks at Jane, who nods while drinking her club soda:) You may proceed.

BARTENDER: (Leans on the counter:) Are you two, well--

DARIA: --No, we're not. That idiot asked if we came here alone, and Jane told him the truth. We did come here with each other, and not alone--

JANE: (Shrugs:) --It's not our fault if that guy and his friend took it the wrong way.

BARTENDER: (Grins:) Oh, I see--shrewd, ladies. So, you two are just hanging out, or what?

DARIA: Try the "what". Actually, my bro and (motions at Jane:) her boyfriend are out there fulfilling an "obligation" to my sister--

JANE: (Frowns:) --By being with a damn she-wolf.

BARTENDER: (Cocks an eyebrow:) Now I am curious. What's up?

Daria and Jane looked at each other, then Jane began to explain.

At the same moment, a small, tan car came into the Haven parking lot, and drove past the grey Camry with the man in it. He looked at it, and then did a bit of a double-take when he saw who was getting out of it after it had parked. Quinn, Tiffany, and the driver, Stacy, got out. All three were dressed to kill. Quinn wore a white, off-the-shoulder sequin dress, Tiffany, a green, short-sleeved rhinestone dress, and Stacy, a light blue, long-sleeved sheer dress.

STACY: (Nervous along with Tiffany:) Gosh, Quinn--are you sure about this? I mean, I don't know if we should stand up to Sandi!

TIFFANY: Yeah...

QUINN: (Rolls her eyes:) Stacy! Tiffany! We're not gonna be doing any of that, okay? All I sayin' is that we kind of "run into" Sandi with Darren! I mean, she didn't tell you about what she was gonna do, right? (Narrows her eyes:) Do you guys think that was fair to you? (Stacy and Tiffany look at each other, ponder Quinn's words) Besides, she abused her office when she made that "deal" with my bro to keep me in th' Fashion Club! (Then as an afterthought, adds:) I know you two were--attracted to Darren, and Sandi competed with you over my bro, and outmanuvered you to get to him! Do you want her to get away with that? (Pauses:) Hey, I know what I did was wrong when you all first met Darren, but do you think what she did was any better?

STACY: (Looks down, still unsure:) I--guess that's true, Quinn--

TIFFANY: (Ditto:) I...suppose...you've...got...a...point...Quinn--

QUINN: (Smirks:) Damn straight I do! (Pauses:) Look, it's not like we'll be confronting her together at first, so she can't say that you're defying her by being with me, 'cause she doesn't know that we came in together! Remember the plan--I'll come up on her first, then you two "happen" to come up behind me.

STACY: O-okay, Quinn--d-did you really mean it when you said you'd pay for us?

QUINN: (Sighs:) Of course I did, Stacy! My dad let me use his credit card to get some cash, an' I have it right here! (Shows the cash to them) Now, let's carry out "Operation Cookiejar", okay? (Leads the two girls to the club with a determined look on her face, and all three pay Mr. Shaw and go into the club past "Curly", who is ogling at them until Mr. Shaw whacks him on the back and motions him to continue to check out the customers)

Meanwhile, Daria and Jane were finishing telling the story to the "bartender", who whistled in awe.

BARTENDER: Oh boy--and you're (looks at Jane:) allowing your boyfriend to do this? Girl, that takes guts.

JANE: (Snorts, rolls her eyes:) Don't forget a healthy dose of stupidity. I'm not giving my permission to allow Sandi Griffin to date Darren for my health, you know--(frowns:) and if Sandi's smart, she'll be able to keep hers if she behaves.

BARTENDER: (Smirks:) Then I suppose you're allowing it for Daria's sister? (Daria now smirks herself, while Jane gags.)

JANE: (Puts her hand on her forehead, shuts her eyes, sighs:) Don't remind me. It's just that, well--

Quinn suddenly came up beside Daria, Jane and the "bartender", surprising both girls, sitting up beside them at the counter, and smirking.

QUINN: Hiiii, guys! (Daria and Jane roll their eyes)

DARIA: Speaking of which--say hello to my sister, Quinn. (Smirks sinisterly:) Say "hello" to the nice bartender, "siiis". (Quinn glares at Daria, while Jane gives a very smug look at Quinn)

QUINN: (Remembers her new "agreement" with Daria over saying Daria's her sister in public, now:) Uh--hi, sis--Jane, um--(looks away and around quickly)

BARTENDER: (Cocks an eyebrow, smirks:) --Just call me your "bartender"--did you want something to wet your whistle, honey?

QUINN: (Puts her hand up:) Um, no thanks.

BARTENDER: (Notices:) Excuse me, gals--other customers. (Leaves to the other side of the bar)

DARIA: Behold--it's an illusion of disastrous proportions, Jane. Quinn, what in the hell are you doing here?

QUINN: What does it look like, Daria?

DARIA: (Looks over the way Quinn's dressed:) It seems to me that you're trying to allow dollar bills to be placed in your dress for a free show. (Jane smirks)

QUINN: (Frowns:) Oh, you're really funny, Daria.

DARIA: No, seriously, why are you here? I thought you were going to join "Laverne and Shirley" for an "overnight clandestine fashion-ego booster get-together", or something. Aren't you concerned about what mom and dad will do if they call over at Stacy's to check on you? You might not ever leave home again until you're 21.

QUINN: (Rolls her eyes:) Daaaaria! You gotta remember that mom and dad are at home alone, an' are--(shudders, disgusted look:) you know--they're gonna be so into each other, (ick) the last thing they'll think about is me! Besides, the curfew is off for tonight, remember? Oh, and if you're worried about a guy bringing me here an' breakin' my stupid punishment rules an' stuff, it's cool--Stacy drove her mom's car, and me an' Tiffany rode with her here.

DARIA: (Smirks:) Well, you were the last thing I was thinking about while I was sitting here with Jane. (Quinn narrows her eyes and glares at Daria while Jane smirks) Anyway, what about the Rowes? Don't you think they might think something's amiss when their daughter and her friends are missing from their humble abode?

QUINN: (Smirks:) Stacy's parents are out of town for the weekend, an' the Rowes trust their daughter--

JANE: --Unlike Helen and Jake not trusting you? (Daria smirks)

QUINN: (Glares at Jane:) Hey! You're one to talk, you know! You're trusting Darren to be with Sandi!

JANE: Only to keep you in the Fashion Club so you can go to your "little" Fashion Institute, and for the record, it's Sandi that I don't trust with Darren!

DARIA: Back to my original question--why are you here, Quinn? Jane and I are keeping an eye on Sandi, so what's the deal?

QUINN: (Smirks:) I'm gonna get back at Sandi--do you know that Tiffany an' Stacy didn't know about what she's done, other than me bein' on fashion sabbatical? Sandi's abusin' her office!

JANE: (Faux alarm:) Uh-oh--time to impeach the "prez"--

DARIA: (Deadpan, smirks:) --"What does President Griffin know, and when did she know it?" Will the trial be conducted in front of a "Fashion Tribunal"? If so, I'll inform the media for you--

QUINN: (Gets up off the barstool:) --Laugh if you must--

JANE: --Oh, we will--

QUINN: --But I gotta expose Sandi! Excuse me! (Goes off into the crowd)

DARIA: "Expose" Sandi? If that's the case, all she has to do is touch Sandi's flimsy dress, and it would fall off for the ultimate exposure!

JANE: Of course, if someone would do that to Quinn, the same thing would happen--

DARIA: --To Quinn and all the other scantily-clad girls in this place. If guys want to get their fill of "hoochie", they've come to the right place here.

JANE: Tell me about it. (Changes tone, scans crowd:) Seen Darren yet?

DARIA: (Also scans:) No, not--hold it--there he is--over there. (Points to the left side of the room:) You see them now?

JANE: (Narrows her eyes:) Nooot yet--yeah! (Pauses:) He doesn't look like he's enjoying himself--this really makes me feel relieved, you understand.

DARIA: (Scans, smirks:) He's got "Jane on the brain", I told you that. (Scans some more:) Ah, now the fun begins--look over to the center of the room. (Jane follows Daria's lead) There's Quinn dancing "towards" Darren and Sandi from the center, with a barrelful of boys "sniffing" behind her--

JANE: (Brightens up:) Ooh--and there's Tiffany and Stacy with a handful of boys dancing "towards" Darren and Sandi from the right side! Y'know, this should actually prove interesting, amiga.

DARIA: (Smirks:) And here I thought we were gonna be bored out of our skulls. (Eyes bowlful of peanuts, gets it, passes it to Jane:) Nuts?

JANE: (Takes the bowl:) Hey, thanks--that dry burger didn't fill me up. (Starts munching:) How perfectly appropiate--eating nuts while watching them--save for Darren, of course.

DARIA: (While munching as well:) That's not quite true for my Big Bro--after all, he's "nuts" for you--(Jane smirks) now, let the show begin.

Sandi had tried to entice Darren with her suggestive dance movements, but he had not bitten at her "bait", even when the two slow-danced, for he was the perfect gentleman while he held her--much to her chagrin. He kept his hands lightly on her back and shoulders, but that was about it--no attempts to "lower" them. She had tried to once again lean up against him, but he gently held her back at a respectable distance--several times, in fact. This was becoming like a game--and Sandi was losing. It was getting frustrating to Sandi--here, she was the envy of many of the girls who had watched the two come in, and she couldn't take full advantage of him in front of them. Sandi was thinking about trying one more trick, when suddenly a girl "bumped" into Darren from the back. Sandi looked around Darren, who had not looked around himself yet, and frowned. Several people stopped dancing, and watched, and in the meantime, the music had started to die down as well.

SANDI: Quinn! What are you doing here?!

DARREN: (Surprised:) Quinn?! Where'd you come from?!

QUINN: (Faux shock, gasps:) Darren! Sandi! This is a surprise! It's a small world, isn't it?!

SANDI: (Narrows her eyes:) I don't know what's going on here, but I think you're up to something! Did you know we were going to be here?!

QUINN: ("Innocent" look on here face:) What?! I don't know what you're talking about Sandi! Hi, bro!

DARREN: Uh, hi, Quinn--I thought you were with-- (flinches when he's bumped from behind again:) eh? (Looks behind him:) Stacy? Tiffany?

SANDI: (Shocked:) Staaacy? Tiiiffany? What are you two dooing here?

STACY: (Really nervous, but bravely goes on:) S-S-S-Sandi! Q-Q-Q-Quinn! D-D-Darren! T-T-Tiffany! F-f-fancy m-m-meeting y-you guys here! EEP! I'm not supposed to talk to you, Quinn! Sorry!

TIFFANY: (Same way as Stacy, but I'll spare you her stammering:) Uhhh...hiiii..guuuys...IIIII..mean..Sandi...Darrrren....

SANDI: (Looks between the girls, suspicious:) Something's like, definitely not right here, but I sure as hell intend to find out! (Goes to the "weak link", laser-beam focus:) Staaacy, did Quinn put you up to this?!

STACY: (Sweats profusely, while Quinn mouths to her out of Sandi's sight, "Be strong":) N-n-no, S-S-Sandi! I-I-I c-can't t-talk t-to Q-Q-Quinn, r-r-remember? H-h-how c-could she p-plan to do s-something w-with m-me if w-we c-couldn't t-talk t-to e-each o-other?! (Weak laugh)

Sandi looked at Stacy with her iron gaze a moment more, then rolled her eyes over to Tiffany. Stacy let out a silent, deep breath of relief the moment Sandi turned away, holding her rapidly-beating heart, and closing her eyes. Darren watched the scene with the other dancers, both fasinated, and amused.

SANDI: (Gives the same look to Tiffany, but in a more "diplomatic" way, tries to play up to the "yes-woman":) Tiiiffany, I'm sure you had very little to do with this, right? Did you follow Quinn's instructions, and come out here with her?

TIFFANY: (Slightly more cooler, but with Tiffany, it's kind of hard to tell:) I...don't...know...what...you're...talking...about...Sandi...

Sandi looked at Tiffany and grimced. It was clear the "yes-woman" was not going to crack, and point the finger. Sandi began to slowly turn red with rage. Quinn, sensing an opening, pounced.

QUINN: (With faux ignorance:) So, um, Sandi? What are you doin' here with Darren? I mean, isn't he Jane's boyfriend, or something?

SANDI: (Gives Quinn the glare to end all glares:) We weren't like, doing anything! Just a little dinner and dancing, that's all, (frowns:) you probably asked him where we were going, and you knew why--(suddenly stops, checks herself, realizes she's said more than she intended)

QUINN: (Narrows her eyes:) --"Why", Sandi? "Why" what? Do Stacy and Tiffany know "why", huh?

SANDI: (Looks lost, which is unbearable for her in front of the others, especially Quinn, tries to re-take the high ground:) Like, uh, because um, Darren chose to take me out on his own! (Suddenly hooks her arm with Darren's:) Right, Darren? (Quinn gasps in anger, while Sandi smirks)

Darren couldn't believe what was going on--first, there was some sort of verbal "battle" between a suddenly-appearing Quinn and Sandi, and he was being dragged into it against his will! He looked around for a moment, dumbfounded, and spotted Jane and Daria at the bar. Both were leaning back on the counter, and watching with great interest, eating peanuts and smirking at the situation. If only I could be up there with them instead of--

SANDI: (Looks up at Darren:) --Darren! Did you hear me?! I said you chose to take me out, right?!

DARREN: (Gives a quick look between Sandi and Quinn, looking unsure:) Uh, ah--that is--

Suddenly, Mr. Shaw and Curly made their way through the crowd, and both were frowning.

MR. SHAW: (Looks between everyone:) What in the hell is going on here, people?! I won't tolerate violence in my club!

DARREN: (Calmly:) No problem, sir, there was only a misunderstanding, right, girls?

SANDI: (Angry:) Oooooh, nooo--there's no "misunderstanding" here! (Glares at Quinn, releases Darren's arm, goes up to Quinn's face:) I know you had to be behind this, Quinn! I can't prove it--yet, or how you've turned Tiffany and Stacy against me, but I suspect you had a hand in this!

QUINN: (Cool exterior, in a calm voice:) You're right about one thing, Sandi, there's no "misunderstanding" here--you, like abused your office when you took Darren out with you just to keep me in th' Fashion Club, admit it!

SANDI: (Smirks:) Hey, I'm not the one who lied about having a sister after all this time, and passing her off as my "cousin"! (Gasps in the audience)

QUINN: (Furious, begins to step forward:) Why you--

Curly suddenly stepped in between the girls, and gently separated them, which still did not stop Sandi from speaking.

SANDI: Quinn, using my power and authority as president of the Fashion Club, I hereby excu--excumun--kick you out of the Fashion Club! (Darren and Quinn looked shocked, while Daria and Jane look at each other, surprised)

QUINN: (Mouth agape:) Y-you can't do that! (Looks at Tiffany and Stacy, pleading look:) Guys, help me!

Tiffany and Stacy looked at each other and then Quinn, sheepishly, then looked away uneasily.

DARREN: (Frowns:) Sandi, we had a deal! (Quinn gets a very sinister look on her face, while Tiffany and Stacy look at each other) You're now going back on it?

SANDI: (Haughty look, not realizing what Darren has said:) It's not my fault that Quinn forced the issue here! All she had to do was to say and do nothing, and--

QUINN: (Lights up, points at Sandi:) AH-HA! You admit you wanted to go out with Darren in return for me staying in the Fashion Club?! (People in the audience make "ooooh" and "aaaah" sounds, looking at each other, then Quinn grins wickedly:) Even my bro said you guys had a deal! (Darren sighs, exasperated)

SANDI: (Rolls her eyes:) Like, uh, that is so not true--

MR. SHAW: (Having enough:) --OKAY, THAT'S IT! I don't care who did what, I want all of you people out of here, right now! Curly, start with him. (Points at an astounded Darren:) "Escort" the "lover-boy" out of here first, then the others in his party.

DARREN: (Glances up at the ceiling with a look of disbelief on his face:) Why does everyone seem to think that I'm after all the girls?

CURLY: (Starts to walk over to Darren, grins wickedly, cracks his knuckles:) With pleasure, Mr. Shaw. (Quinn, Tiffany, Stacy, and even Sandi look at each other, uncomfortably--this was definitely not expected)

Daria and Jane watched the spectacle intently, and the "bartender" had stopped doing her work, watching intently as well.

BARTENDER: Oh crap--it looks as there's gonna be some trouble for your boyfriend, Jane.

DARIA: (Begins to smirk:) Oh, I don't know about that. Let's see what happens.

JANE: (Cuts her eyes over at Daria, a little uneasily:) You seem awfully sure Darren can handle this guy, Daria. "Curly-Joe" looks pretty big--

DARIA: (Still smirks:) --Maybe if you rushed out there to Darren and kissed him, Curly might not fight him. (Jane mock-glares at Daria, while the "bartender" looks at them oddly for a second, then resumes to watch what will happen on the floor)

Curly grinned as he came up to Darren, who had backed up a bit, and was sizing Curly up, narrowing his eyes.

CURLY: You can go out one of two ways--you can be carried out, or you can be thrown out. What's it gonna be?

DARREN: (After a moment:) Look, I really don't want any trouble--how about if I just walked out on my own?

CURLY: Wrong answer.

Curly lunged at Darren, who smoothly ducked under him, leaped in the air, and kicked the bouncer in the head. Curly stumbled forward, and fell down on the floor on his back. He looked up at Darren, dazed and stunned. Quinn looked at an impressed Sandi, Tiffany, and Stacy and smirked. Others in the crowd talked amongst themselves, impressed, especially the females.

QUINN: I told you my bro can take care of himself, Sandi.

SANDI: Like, I guess he can, Quinn.

MR. SHAW: (Looks down at Curly:) Get your ass up, you lummox! I don't pay you to just lie there on the floor and look like an idiot!

Curly foolishly looked at his boss for a moment, then glared at Darren, and got up in a rage, snarling like an animal. Once again, he rushed Darren, but Darren again smoothly avoided him on the side, and chopped Curly on the back of his neck, knocking him to the floor, and out cold. Mr. Shaw looked down at his fallen bouncer, stunned. The whole room was totally the same--save for a proud Quinn. Daria, Jane, and the "bartender" looked at each other, and smirked.

DARIA: (Deadpan:) Well, that certainly was over fast. At least I got a chance to actually see my bro in "action", and I must say, he's one hell of an ass-kicker.

JANE: (Wicked smirk:) Oh, I'm sooo damn lucky--I've gotta take some "lessons" from that boy--

BARTENDER: Wow--and Curly usually had his way with everyone in here--I've never seen anyone taken out so fast. Jane, you've got a rare gem there--don't lose it. (Pauses, coy voice:) Of course, if you want to pass him on--

JANE: (Same smirk, still looks in Darren's direction:) Heh--fat chance. (Daria smirks)

Darren took one more glance at Curly, just to make sure he did not get up, then turned towards the now-terrified Mr. Shaw, who was shaking with fear. Darren was scowling, and spoke.

DARREN: (Through clenched teeth:) All you had to do, "sir", was let me leave on my own. I told you I didn't want any trouble. Now, if you don't mind, I'll be leaving--on my own. (Shaw nods his head in agreement quickly, and stands aside, then Darren brushes past him and starts to leave, but turns back towards him with a slight smirk:) Uh, your pants are wet. Maybe you should change them? (Mr. Shaw looks down on himself, turns red with embarassment, then runs off the floor while everyone laughs at him)

SANDI: (Becoming wide-eyed:) Uh, Darren, what about--

DARREN: Sorry, Sandi, but if you're going to kick my sister out, (Quinn glares at Sandi, while Tiffany and Stacy look heartbroken) then we have nothing more to do with each other on this "date". (Starts to leave) I'm sure you can find your own--

SANDI: (Becomes alarmed:) Wait! (Darren stops, turns around, while Sandi strains to look at Quinn, and be civil at the same time) Er, um, perhaps I was a bit hasty--

QUINN: (Scowls:) A bit hasty? You--

DARREN: (Glares at Quinn, cuts her off sharply:) --Quinn! Let Sandi speak! (Quinn looks at her brother, stunned, while Sandi gives a quick, smug look at Quinn) Go on, Sandi.

SANDI: Oh, um, yes--anyway, like I said, perhaps I was a bit hasty, Darren --I will not kick Quinn out of the Fashion Club, but only if Tiffany and Stacy admit that they were in league with Quinn against me! (The crowd "oohs" and "ahhs")

QUINN: (Stunned with Tiffany and Stacy:) WHAT! But--

STACY: (Suddenly jumps down at Sandi's feet, pleads:) Oh, YES, YES, YES, I did it, Sandi! I didn't mean to! Please forgive me! (Starts to cry into the hem of Sandi's dress)

TIFFANY: (Bows down to Sandi on one knee, kisses the back of her hand, similar to what a Catholic saint does with the Pope:) I...did...too...sorry...Sandi...please...forgive...me...

Quinn rolled her eyes, full of rage, with her arms crossed, while Darren (and others in the crowd) viewed the scene with stunned disbelief. Sandi, of course, was on top of the world, with an arrogant smirk that ended all smirks. Daria and Jane simply looked at each other and shook their heads slowly.

DARIA: (Deadpan, flat tone:) The status quo has been restored, Lane.

JANE: (Flat tone as well:) Yes, Morgendorffer--"Queen Sandi" has forgiven her "subjects"--all hail the queen.

DARIA: (Same tone:) I'd prefer to tell her to go to hell.

Darren then gave Sandi a serious look.

DARREN: If you're finished, I want to leave now. You ready to go?

SANDI: (Comes down after her "high":) Like, sure, Darren--I suppose, since everything's back in it's proper place. If you want to go, we can.

DARREN: Let's. I'm sick of being here. (Turns to a fuming Quinn:) Quinn, we'll talk later. Catch a ride back with Tiffany and Stacy. (Leaves with Sandi as the crowd parts to let them through, but as he sees Jane and Daria, his visage softens, and he gives Jane a quick wink and a smile, the same for Daria. Jane smirks contentedly while Daria shrugs, but gives a tiny Mona Lisa smile)

Daria turned back to the "bartender" and pulled out the same $200 she had shown to Mr. Shaw while getting up from the bar with Jane.

DARIA: Here--you've earned this tip.

BARTENDER: (Stunned as she takes the money:) Y-you're giving this much money to me? A-are you sure--

JANE: (Cocks an eyebrow:) Uh--yeah, Daria--are you sure?

DARIA: (Shrugs at Jane, then looks back at the "bartender":) Why not? Our business is done here, and we don't really need this much money anymore for tonight anyway. I'm sure that my bro won't mind if we gave it away, especially if he's really--(glances at Jane:) well, you know--

JANE: (Picks up on Daria's lead:) --Oh, uh, yeah--"that guy". (Looks to the bartender, who frowns slightly, perplexed by what Daria and Jane are talking about:) Go on--take it. It'll kind of help you out for college.

BARTENDER: (Smiles as she pockets the money:) Thanks! (Smirks:) I guess I won't be seeing you two around here anymore. Kind of a shame--you two were the most intelligent people I've met since I've been working here.

DARIA: Oh, I doubt that--otherwise, Jane and I wouldn't have come here in the first place. (The "bartender" smirks with Jane, and then Daria and Jane leave) Take it easy. (The "bartender" watches them go, and then resumes her work)

Daria and Jane were leaving the Haven when Quinn came up to them, looking angry. Both girls stopped for a moment, looked at her, and then kept going to the SUV, while Quinn followed them as she was talking. Darren's car had just left the parking lot. Unbeknown to any of the parties, the grey Camry that had followed them all there had gone.

QUINN: Daria, take me back home with you!

DARIA: (Cocks an inquisitive eyebrow with Jane:) What about going back with Stacy and Tiffany?

QUINN: (Scowls:) No freakin' way! They stabbed me in th' back--like Darren! I'm not gonna speak to either one of them for awhile, an' I'm thinkin' about doin' the same thing with my bro! (Looks as she's about to cry:) How could Darren snap at me like that, defending Sandi, of all people, against me, his sister?!

DARIA: (Deadpan:) Perhaps it was because you were about to do something even dumber than just coming out here in the first place with Stacy and Tiffany while Darren and Sandi were out--

JANE: --Like, oh, almost getting yourself kicked out of the Fashion Club, and not being able to go to that Fashion Institute place?

QUINN: (Even more shocked:) YOU guys are sidin' with Sandi, too?!

DARIA: (Rolls her eyes, sighs:) Quinn--please. I'd sooner have bouncy hair and get a new wardrobe full of your crappy fashions than side with Sandi on just about anything. What we're saying is, is that you didn't have to do anything tonight. Jane and I were here. (Frowns:) You risked everything to come out here just to show up Sandi, and it almost backfired. If anything, I'd wager to guess that Darren saved your ass from embarassing yourself any further--(smirks with Jane while Quinn glares:) although I must say it would've been a glorious battle if you and Sandi actually went at it physically.

JANE: Surely you're not gonna blame Darren for "making" you come out here with your little friends, and doing all of this to yourself, are you?

Quinn scowled for a moment more, then looked indignant as she got into the back seat of the SUV while Daria and Jane got in the front, not responding to Jane's question, something that wasn't lost on Daria, but she decided to say nothing for the moment.

DARIA: (Puts on her seat belt:) Hey, what about your small bag of clothes you took while supposedly staying over Stacy's tonight?

QUINN: (Waves it off:) Oh, Stacy or Tiffany will bring them to me over the weekend--they'll wanna get back into my good graces.

JANE: (Cocks an eyebrow, turns around:) You're sure about that? Based on what happened here tonight, those two looked as if they'd climb a whole damn mountain for Sandi to stay on her good side.

QUINN: (Narrows her eyes, explains with a passion:) For th' moment. Stacy considers me to be her best friend in th' Fashion Club, an' Tiffany would wanna play me against Sandi like she always has. (Smirks:) She doesn't think that I know, but I do. Give it a couple of days, an' they'll both be crawlin' back to me, 'cause they know they won't be gettin' the respect from Sandi like they'll get from me.

DARIA: (While starting the SUV:) Ah, the "intricacies" of Fashion Club politics--

JANE: (Smirks:) --You gotta love it.

DARIA: --Or, in our case, be indifferent to it. (Smirks, while Quinn rolls her eyes) Got another question for you, Quinn--what about mom and dad? What are you gonna say to them when you come up with me dressed like that, and you're not at Stacy's like you promised our parents you would be?

QUINN: (Now becomes wide-eyed as she looks down on herself:) Uh, um--well--(becomes panicked:) you gotta help me, Daria!

DARIA: (Faux concern:) Gee, sis, I don't know--help like that doesn't come cheap--

QUINN: (Pulls out Jake's credit card, smug:) I can get some money out of the ATM for you--

DARIA: (Smirks:) --No.

JANE & QUINN: (Shocked:) Huh? Come again?

DARIA: Obviously, you two seem to have a hearing problem, so I'll repeat myself for clarification purposes--no. I want you to give me something more valuable than money, sis--I want your pride. (Quinn frowns, confused) Quinn, if you want me to get you past mom and dad, I want you to promise to try and not to stay angry at Darren for what happened tonight, and admit you were wrong about what you did about coming out there, and apologize to him.

QUINN: (Mouth agape, stunned:) Daria, are you crazy? I wasn't the one who--

DARIA: (Cuts her off:) --Quinn, it's this, or "The Wrath of Helen", or, you can figure something out on your own--

QUINN: (Crosses her arms, pouts, bites her lower lip, slams herself back in her seat:) Fine! Okay! I promise I won't get mad at Darren for tonight, an' I'll say I'm sorry to him, okay?! (Sneers:) Is that it?

DARIA: (Smirks:) Yep.

JANE: (Leans over to Daria, in a very low tone out of the side of her mouth:) Did I just hear you let Quinn off the hook? You could've gotten a lot of "moolah" off of her!

DARIA: (In the same tone:) Nah--I've already had a lot of the "moolah" in my hands for tonight, and Quinn would really just be giving me dad's money. Besides, if we're gonna be looking to see if Darren's really is this "Arthur Appleton Jr.", I'd rather have Quinn and Darren on good terms, and--

Quinn suddenly leaned forward between the two between the front seat, listening.

QUINN: What are you two talkin' about? (Narrows her eyes:) It isn't about me, is it? 'Cause if it is--

DARIA: --Jane and I were just talking, "Nosy"--go back to your "fashion fantasies" and dream of "walkway visions of glory". (Jane smirks) Besides, if we were talking about you, Jane and I would be laughing so hard, I'd probably lose control of the SUV, it would flip like crazy, and we'd all crash and burn. (Quinn scowls at Daria, while Jane tries not to laugh)

JANE: C'mon, Quinn--we're just "shooting the breeze", you know, girl talk and all--no need to get all riled up and everything.

QUINN: Oh. (Sits back in the backseat slowly this time, sighs, looks out her door window:) You know, I'll bet Sandi's probably havin' a good laugh at me right now--

Up ahead, Darren was driving back to Lawndale with Sandi, who looked as smug as she had been in a long time. To her, Darren had put down his own sister, her greatest enemy, in front of that crowd--all for Sandi, and after he cut down that bouncer in a heartbeat. She cut her eyes over at the seemingly impassive and quiet Darren, who looked like he was thinking about something--possibly her? Sandi hoped against hope--did he like her enough to defend her like that? Maybe Darren and that--that--what was her name again? Janet? Jill? Jo? No--wait--Jane, yes, that was it--were on the skids? Sandi wondered if she should ask him right out, then lost her nerve at the last minute. She decided to wait for later, perhaps just before they--kissed to end the date, then go over to Quinn's tomorrow, and rub it in about being with her brother--that would teach her not to challenge Sandi's authority. She slowly smiled to herself and looked back out of her car door window, dreamily. Oh, Darren--by the time you feel my kiss, you'll never want to go back to that "art geek weirdo" again.

Darren drove at a steady pace on the way back to Lawndale consumed by three things on his mind--Sanchez, Sandi, and Quinn. He was beginning to wonder if Woo could ever find him, and to end any and all speculation about who hired Sanchez to kill his parents. He began to feel frazzled by the building pressure on him--this was beginning to get more and more unbearable everyday. He wished he could be with Jane right now--she could take his mind off of all of this. Darren cut his eyes over at the surprisingly quiet Sandi, who was looking out of the window. Good--the last thing he needed was her saying anything right now to him about Quinn. In reality, Darren wanted to get out of that place when Quinn and Sandi had their little "powerplay"--he was tired, and simply wanted the date to end, but that "Mr. Shaw" and "Curly" would not let him leave, and he found himself fighting. He wondered about his recent "drawing" power when it came to trouble--it almost rivaled his "girl-drawing" power. First, that "Rocco" guy, then this "Curly" fellow--what was it about him? Why did it seem that he was some sort of lightning rod when it came to trouble?

Quinn--why did she do that? Daria and Jane were there, she didn't have to--he immediately berated himself over such a simple thought as that--to get back at Sandi, of course. If only she could have chosen another time--anytime to play her little "games" with Sandi, but nooo--it had to be then and there. If Quinn had not brought Stacy and Tiffany, the night would have gone smoother (and quieter), and he would have never been in that fight in the first place. He looked over at Sandi again. Perhaps he should say something to her--to stay quiet would be rude, even if it was this girl. He spoke in a tepid manner.

DARREN: (Glances over at her:) Ah, uh, Sandi? About what happened back there--I'm sorry about--

SANDI: (Smirks, looks over at him with a gleam in her eye:) Like, it's okay, Darren--what you did was so noble an' stuff.

DARREN: (Looks surprised, thought v.o.: Oh no. She doesn't think that--) Look, Sandi--perhaps we should get something straight here. I only shouted at Quinn like that to stop her from making the situation any worse. I did not take your side, if that's what you're thinking. Yes, I'll admit Quinn did come to the Haven and instigated the situation, but--

SANDI: (Still has the same smirk:) --Suuure you didn't, Darren--whatever you say.

DARREN: (Cocks an eyebrow:) You don't believe me?

SANDI: (Throws her hair back in a flippant manner:) Like, you can be honest with me, Darren. (Gives him a "seductive" look:) You went against Quinn, your own sister, and took my side. That alone told me that you were attracted to me. (Begins to slide over to Darren)

DARREN: (Wide-eyed, shocked, flinches as he sees her do so, but still controls the car:) WHAT?! This isn't happening, it can't be. (Glances back over at Sandi, trying like crazy to control his rising anger:) Sandi-I-told-you-that-I-do-NOT-like-you! I have Jane as a girlfriend, remember?!

SANDI: (Now stops sliding, looks at Darren, confused:) But, don't you like me? I thought for sure after what happened tonight that you did!

DARREN: (Looks at her out of the corner of his eye:) Where did THAT come from?! (Thinks for a moment:) Look, Sandi--is this about your thinking that I have money again? I'll admit that I, er, have some, but that's it, and--

Sandi looked at Darren, actually shocked, or at least that what it seemed to Darren. She suddenly sighed, grew very quiet, then began to slide back to her side of the car. Darren was stunned by the sudden change in persona on Sandi's part. Whoa--now what? Darren did not expect that--a trick perhaps? He remembered what had Quinn told him about Sandi's "habits" of tricking people to get what she wanted (Quinn herself doing the same thing, of course)--maybe this was one of those times?

DARREN: (After a long moment:) Er, Sandi? Are you all right? (Grows quiet:) Look, about the "money" crack--I'm sorry about saying--

SANDI: (Now looks at Darren quietly:) --No, it's not about the money, Darren--it's like, about what you just said. (Looks away)

DARREN: (Frowns, looks perplexed:) Eh? "Said"? What are you talking about? I'm sorry, but--

SANDI: (Points at him:) --There! That! What you said! "Sorry"!

DARREN: (Now even more confused:) Huh? "Sorry"? I don't understand--

SANDI: (Pouts, crosses her arms, looks ahead:) --It's, like, you're, well--uh, so nice an' everything, an' so much of a gentleman. You never took advantage of me or anything while we were on th' dance floor, even though I gave you every chance to do so, an' stuff. You even, like, asked me about my future after high school an' everything. (Pauses for her next words, speaks very low:) No guy's ever been like that to me, you know? It's usually like, "Backseat Time", an' I like, get carried away in th' moment, and we like, make out! But you're not like that! You're--you're--

DARREN: (Now finding himself suddenly interested:) --I'm--I'm--what?

SANDI: (Looks down, red-faced:) --you're really a good guy. You seem to like, respect me an' stuff. I just thought that maybe after what happened with Quinn, and the way you beat that muscled guy who bullied us, that you kind of liked me, by, like, defending us, that's all. (Quickly looks everywhere but at a now-shocked Darren:) I, well, I really do find myself liking you because of that. Stupid, huh? (Adds:) I guess Jane's, like, lucky, an' stuff, an' I'm not. (Sighs)

DARREN: (After a moment of getting over his shock:) S-Sandi, I-I don't know what to say, except that, ah, uh--

SANDI: (Cuts her eyes over at Darren, smirks:) --That you're "sorry", Darren?

DARREN: (Smiles slightly while looking forward:) Yes, I guess you can say that, Sandi. (Sighs:) But like I said, you can get any guy you want. (Thought v.o.: Maybe after you've improved your haughty attitude, that is.)

SANDI: (Thought v.o. while looking out of the window: Yeah--just not you. [Smirks:] At least not yet. You're everything I could hope for in a guy, Darren--you're handsome, nice, smart, you can, like, handle yourself, an' you're probably rich. Jane's gonna find herself in a battle an' stuff, an' I plan to come out on top like I always do, an' really make Quinn mad, too--havin' her brother an' everything--I'll just, like, have to bide my time an' stuff.)

(Scene changes to William Appleton's apartment, the same time)

William Appleton was up for a late-night conversation on his cell phone while propped up in his bed. He had several files strewn about on it, the same files he had collected from the coffee table that Benny had put back on after William had smacked him down on the floor. He was speaking to the man whom he had sent to Lawndale to spy on Darren.

WILLIAM: (Smirks:)--That's right, ah--Oscar, right? I just got off the phone after talking to a "Lt. Keller" of the L.A.P.D., and he "broke" the news of Sanchez's death to me, and "informed" me of what he found concerning what Sanchez had done to cause the crash that killed my "poor" brother and sister-in-law, and of his "suspicions" that someone "may have" murdered them to somehow or another to get control of Appleton Industries. (Laughs:) The fool told me that I wasn't considered to be a suspect because I was chosen to be Chairman by my "nephew", and thusly there was no motive for me to kill Arthur Sr. and Lucille--what an idiot--he didn't even say that Woo had to have told him about Sanchez, as if Lt. Keller and the L.A.P.D. themselves came up with the answers! I added that I would get in "contact" with my sister and "nephew" to let them know about the "stunning" news during this time also. I, in my "grief" and "shock", also asked the good detective to ask his superiors to wait until Monday before announcing what Sanchez actually did to the media, so I could inform the Board and the stockholders of this "incredible" development. I've already called my secretary Lilly at her home, and told her that I'm going out of town for the next few days in a private location because I'm "bereaved", and wouldn't be back until Monday morning. Benny and I will take Norwood with us, and slip out of town to this "Lawndale" and join you and the other men via minivan--no need to bring attention to ourselves by coming in on a private jet.

OSCAR: Yessir. I've checked around this "Lawndale" just as you've said, Boss, and I think I've found the isolated spot you're looking for to "deal" with your "nephew".

WILLIAM: (Grins:) Excellent, Oscar--where is it?

OSCAR: Near the waterfront, about five miles outside of the town. It's called (pauses, is heard shifting some papers:) the Carter County Bay Warehouse District, consisting of several old, huge, mostly-abandoned warehouses that are sitting by some docks, and are innerconnected with each other, which surround an inlet there. I sat there in my car for several hours yesterday after tailing Darren Appleton and his friends around, trying to see if anyone around here even knows if the place exists. It seems that the local "Barney Fife" cops don't come around here at all, so whatever you want to do with your "nephew", you'll have plenty of time to do it.

(Note to reader: I'm taking the "waterfront" location from "Just Add Water", in case you're wondering, since it seems that Lawndale apparently is located near water because of that episode.)

WILLIAM: (Sinister grin:) Excellent, Oscar--I knew I could count on you--(frowns, mumbles:) unlike some other people.

OSCAR: Huh? What do you mean, Boss?

WILLIAM: (Sighs:) Never mind, Oscar. Anyway, I'm still not going to take any chances--I want you on top of one of those warehouse roofs to act as a lookout when I get my "nephew" to come there. In the meantime, I'm going to put in "Phase Two" of my plan.

OSCAR: "Phase Two", Boss?

WILLIAM: Yes--to lure in his "birth family" to those warehouses. Based on the personal info you've given me concerning these--"Morgendazzers"--

OSCAR: (Gently interrupts:) Uh, Boss, I think it's MorgenDORFFERS--

WILLIAM: (Rolls his eyes, talks through clenched teeth, looks down to his right side for some reason:) --MorgenDORFFERS, Oscar, I think I know how to reel them in as "insurance" to get my "nephew" to sign over everything to me before I kill him.

OSCAR: How's that, Boss?

WILLIAM: You told me based on the information you acquired that my "nephew's" birth parents fit the "workaholic" mold when it comes to their careers, looking for an additional "edge" to get ahead, staying out extra hours to work, and such. I can use this to my advantage by appealing to that part of their careers. (Pauses:) You know, in a way, it's too bad they're my "nephew's" birth parents--I could use people like that to do business with, that is, with all of their ambition and such. (Shrugs:) Oh, well--

OSCAR: (Snickers sinisterly:) --I think I see what you're planning, Boss--(pauses:) what about their daughters, your "nephew's" birth sisters?

WILLIAM: I'll try to get them to come along with my "nephew's" birth parents--if I can't, then possibly separately. Either way, I want to try and have Darren's whole birth family there, as well--the more "insurance", the better.

OSCAR: Does that include his girlfriend, too, Boss?

WILLIAM: (Amused look on his face:) Oh, that's right--my "nephew" has a new girlfriend, too. (In a sneering tone:) Looks as if he's gotten over his "Dear Stephanie", it seems. Well, if you can, get her, too.

OSCAR: Will do, sir--does this mean that you've decided to eliminate them all as well? There are an awfully lot of people we're dealing with, here, Boss--you know, "loose ends", and all.

WILLIAM: (After a moment:) Hmm--yes, I've--considered that. Well, as I've told Benny, I've no real quarrel with these--"Morgendeckers"--(looks down to his right side again:) I mean, "Morgendorffers", despite the fact that they "spawned" Darren--or with his girlfriend, for that matter--they represent no threat to me. (Pauses, ponders:) I haven't decided on what to do with them yet when we get them. I'm probably going to still be deciding up until the last minute--have those masks and that other equipment ready for our men to help "secure" our "insurance" so they can't identify any of you when you take them. In the meantime, have you found a very low-key place for me to stay in this--"Lawndale"?

OSCAR: Sure, Boss--I got an "ordinary-looking" room at a low-budget motel called Knight's Inn that's only a mile-and-a-half from the warehouses. I thought about a place called the Stopover Motel, but it was a little too well-known around here, and you said you didn't want anybody to know that you're coming here.

WILLIAM: That's right--I don't. Good work, Oscar--you'll earn an extra bonus after this is over. Now, I'm going to put my "plan" in action. I'll call you tomorrow morning in the minivan and we'll go over any potential flaws we might see in the plan. Get some sleep, now.

OSCAR: Okay, Boss. (Hangs up)

William began to dial, but looked once again down to his right, to some files and a pad lying beside him. On the pad was the name "Morgendorffer".

(Scene changes to the Morgendorffer's, the same time)

Helen and Jake were sitting in the living room on the center couch, leaning against each other, sighing contentedly, and drinking red wine with a lone lighted candle that was sitting in the middle of the coffee table. The evening had gone quite well. Jake had prepared a small dinner of cornish hens, and wild rice on the side, just large enough for him and Helen, and it was actually delicious. Both had a slice of cheesecake for dessert, and were now listening to Mona Lisa by Nat King Cole on a CD player that was sitting beside the cell phone on the coffee table.

HELEN: (Dreamily:) Oh Jake--isn't this wonderful? We have the house all to ourselves, Daria out with this "Martin" fellow, Darren out with Jane, and Quinn being over at Stacy's.

JAKE: (Ditto:) Yeeeeah--Ol' Nat on the CD, and you and me, sweetheart--what could be more romantic? (Pauses, realizes:) Uh, Helen, do ya think we ought to call the Rowes and check up on Quinn? You know, just to make sure everything's okay?

HELEN: (Surprised, looks up into Jake's eyes:) Hmmm? Why, honey? Quinn's safe where she is with her friends. Let her enjoy herself, Jakey--she's earned it after making up with Daria.

JAKE: (Shrugs:) Yeah, I guess you're right, honey--our sweetie-pie's entitled to have some fun with her friends. (Looks at his watch, cocks an eyebrow:) Besides, it's kinda--late, anyway. I wouldn't want to wake 'em up if they're sleeping.

HELEN: (Rolls her eyes:) Jake, it's a slumber party. Quinn and her friends could be up most of the night, and--

The cell phone on the coffee table suddenly rang. Helen was about to reach for it when Jake gently grabbed her wrist. She looked at him, a bit surprised.

JAKE: Aw, let it ring, honey--it's probably that "Eric" guy calling you, and wanting you to come in tomorrow morning! (Frowns:) Why can't he just wait until then to call you?! I mean we're trying to have some quiet time here, and he decides to call on his damn pet to--(turns pale:) oops!

HELEN: (Frowns herself now:) --Ohhhh--so I'm a "pet", am I, Jake?

JAKE: (Suddenly nervous:) O-oh no, sweetheart! I-I mean, well, uh--

HELEN: (Glares, cuts him off:) --We'll talk about this, later, Jake. You know as well as I do that my job reqiures me to be ready at any time! This could be one of those times! Besides, it could Daria or Darren calling us for some help if their car broke down, or something. (Turns off CD player, grabs phone on fourth ring, clicks it on, in her falsetto voice:) Hellooo?

VOICE: (Sounding "cheerful":) Hello, is this the uh--(pauses:) Mor-gen-dor-ffer residence?

HELEN: (Sits up, while Jake sits back in the couch with a pout and an eye roll, arms crossed:) Why, yes it is, Mr.--

VOICE: --Smith--John Smith. I'm sorry for calling so late, but I figured that I could catch you at this time.

HELEN: (Sounding slightly annoyed:) Well, Mr. Smith, my husband and I were relaxing here at our home, and--

SMITH: (Cuts her off gently:) --I won't take up too much of your time tonight, Mrs. (pauses:) Mor-gen-dor-ffer, and please, call me John. I've been--watching you and your husband for a while from afar.

HELEN: (Cocks an inquisitive eyebrow:) You've been--"watching" us, er--John? I'm afraid I don't understand, and please call me Helen.

SMITH: (In an assuring tone:) Please don't be alarmed, Helen. I meant that I've been watching your work you and your husband have been doing in your perspective careers, you as a lawyer, and he as an marketing consultant, and I must say, I am quite impressed. (Pauses:) I thought what happened on the Van Reefs case was a travesty, an utter and complete travesty. Your firm should have won that land case.

HELEN: (Now impressed in spite of herself:) Oooh, well--thank you, John--(frowns:) those rich bastards had the money to get their way, and we couldn't counter that. (Ponders:) Now when I think about it, I wouldn't have been surprised if the Van Reefs paid the judge or some of the jurors off to help rule in their favor.

SMITH: (After a pause:) Of--course. Anyway, I also wanted to say that your husband--er, Jake, did a terrific job on that eyeglass account, too. (Laughs:) I like the ad slogan: "An Eye For An Eye With Us"! Sheer genius!

HELEN: (Cocks an eyebrow, looks over at Jake:) You know about my husband's eyeglass account? (Jake now perks up at her, interested, goes over and listens to the phone next to Helen) W-why, how did you know that, John?

SMITH: (Chuckling sound:) Like I said, Helen--I've watched you and your husband's remarkable work for some time, and I'd like to meet you and your family, if I could, or at least you and your husband, Jake. If you do, it could be very lucrative for me--er, I mean all of us. You see, I am an aspiring inventor that inherited a rather large amount of money from a dead relative, and I used most of the money to create a "product" that I want to share with you and your husband--it involves a combination of endorsing a very special, yet very secret product that I want to introduce to the public, with your husband's expertise in selling, and your legal opinions of--protecting my "product's" copyrights for when I show it to the world. (Adds:) My "product" is so secret, I can't discuss it over the phone. It could mean millions of dollars for you and your husband. If you're interested--

JAKE: (Wide-eyed, and screams in the speaker part, while Helen winces from hearing Jake's scream in her ear:) --YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT WE'RE INTERESTED!!

HELEN: (Frowns, covers the phone:) JAKE, WILL YOU PIPE DOWN?! (Jake cowers a bit, but still stays near the phone, listening, while Helen regains her composure, and uncovers the phone:) Now, (ahem)--um, John--this all seems too good to be true--

SMITH: --I'm sure it is, Helen, and I don't blame you for having some doubts. (Pauses:) How about if I offer a fee for you and your husband just for coming out to meet me and viewing my "product"--say about $25,000?

JAKE: (Before Helen can say anything:) $25,000?! HELL YEAH, HELEN--TAKE IT!! (Once again, Helen winces from Jake's screaming)

HELEN: (Through clenched teeth, warning tone, covers the speaker part:) Damn it, Jake--DON'T-DO-THAT-AGAIN!! (Jake jumps back in fear, while Helen goes back on the phone:) I've uh, "talked" to my husband, John, and we're definitely interested--

SMITH: (In a delighted tone:) --Spendid! I'd like to arrange a meeting tomorrow night if that's all right--?

HELEN: Very well, John--is there some restaurant that you might want to go to here in Lawndale, or something--?

SMITH: Actually, Helen, I'd--like to--meet you all at a--secret location first, and look at my "product", then we can go to a restaurant, if that's okay with you. I'm--protective of it, you understand--is there any place you want to go after we meet each other?

HELEN: --Of course I understand, John, and we can then go to a place here called Chez Pierre--where do you want to meet us to see your "product"?

SMITH: At the Carter County Bay Warehouse District. I know we'll have absolute privacy there to--"conduct" our business.

JAKE: (While leaning over to the phone:) Boy, I'll say! That place is almost decrepit! I've read that some developer plans to bulldoze everything and put up some shops and homes there--

HELEN: (Frowns, covers the speaker part again:) Yes Jake--the Van Reefs own part of that land out there--(mutters to herself:) and just about every other damn thing around here. (Resumes her normal voice on the phone after she uncovers it:) We'll be there, John--what time do you want to meet?

SMITH: (Pauses:) Oh--how about 6:30 p.m., Helen? (Adds:) Er, do you think you and your husband will be able to bring your family there as well?

HELEN: (After a moment:) I'm--not sure. I think I heard that my son and middle daughter plan to go to a place called McGrundy's tomorrow night with a friend, but I'm sure my youngest daughter will come with us. She's grounded.

SMITH: (Chuckling sound again:) Grounded you say? Ah, yes--well, children will be children, I suppose. I'll see you all there, then. Goodnight.

Jake suddenly jumped around, and started to dance in a circle, then grabbed a giggling Helen, laughing, and spinning her around, as well.

JAKE: (Grins like a fool:) We're on our way, honey--we're on our way! YAHOO!! (Thought v.o.: Now "Mister High-And-Mighty" Hopkins will get his!)

HELEN: (While being spun around:) I hope so, Jakey--if this pans out, I'm sure to get Eric's attention for that partnership at the firm! (Thought v.o., smirks: Linda's sure to seethe after I rub this in her damn face)

(Scene changes to the Griffin's, 30 minutes later)

Darren's car pulled up to the front of the Griffin home, and he got out and went to the passenger side to hold open the door for a slightly smirking Sandi. Down the street, Helen's red SUV, with Daria, Jane, and Quinn inside, slowed to a crawl about two houses down, just in sight of the Griffin residence. Daria turned off the headlights so Sandi would not notice them. There was silence in the SUV for a moment, then Quinn spoke.

QUINN: (Frowns:) You guys know how all dates end, don't you? (Pauses, smirks slowly:) Well, I'm sure Jane knows at least. (Daria gives a small glare in the interior rearview mirror at Quinn)

JANE: (Narrows her eyes at the Griffin's, clenched teeth:) Oh, crap--

DARIA: --Steady there, Lane. I'm sure Darren won't let Sandi kiss him.

JANE: (Rolls her eyes:) Unless she surprises him--

QUINN: (Wicked smirk, enjoys Jane's sqirming:) --Like you did my bro at that weird Zen place? (Now Jane glares at Quinn through the mirror) I dunno--Sandi's pretty slick with her tounge, (adds:) if you know what I mean--

DARIA: --Oh, so you've experienced that first hand, sis? I didn't know you went both ways. (Jane for once, does not smirk at Daria's barb, but still looks apprehensively at the Griffin residence, while Quinn looks at Daria wide-eyed and disgusted)

QUINN: EWWWWW! That's really gross, Daria! I meant, I heard a guy tell me how she kissed! (Pauses, then adds:) After he went out with me, of course.

DARIA: (Deadpan, looks in the mirror at Quinn:) So it's not only fashions and the amount of boys you both compete over, but now over who kisses the best? (Smirks:) What's next, who's gonna be better in b--(sees Jane getting out of the SUV:) Jane, where in the hell are you going?

JANE: (Looks back through the passenger side window:) Where do you think, Daria? This is her last chance, and she's gonna try something, I just know it! (Leaves)

QUINN: (Narrows her eyes:) Not with my bro, she isn't! (Gets out and follows Jane)

DARIA: Uh, guys? (Thought v.o.: Wonderful--now we're on a damn reconnaissance mission--too bad I didn't bring my infra-red goggles.) (Sighs, gets out and follows Jane and Quinn)

Darren and Sandi came up to the door.

DARREN: Well, I hope you had a good time, my sister's little "interruption" notwithstanding, so if there's nothing else--? (Starts to turn around to leave)

SANDI: (Alarmed, grabs Darren's shoulder:) Uh, like, wait, Darren! (Looks up at the starry night sky:) It's like, a beautiful night, isn't it? The moon looks so pretty an' stuff. (Begins to pucker her mouth up, thought v.o.: Just a little closer--)

DARREN: (Steals a glance at the sky, then at Sandi:) Oh, uh, yes it is, Sandi --all of those stars are making me feel--tired. Well, I've got to go, goodnight--(starts to leave, again, this time goes down the walkway quickly)

SANDI: (Starts to frown, then:) DARREN!! (Darren flinches partway down the walk, slowly turns around) I, like, think you should uh--

DARREN: (Sighs heavily:) --Kiss you to end the "date", Sandi? (Looks at her pointedly:) You know I can't do that.

SANDI: (Walks towards him in a seductive manner, smirks:) And why not? Jane doesn't like, have to know.

At the same time, Jane, Quinn, and Daria were standing behind some tall bushes a house down from the Griffins, watching and hearing the exchange. The girls began to speak in hushed tones, with Jane beginning the exchange.

JANE: (Glares:) But I do know--and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let that tramp kiss Darren!

QUINN: (Ditto:) You an' me both, Jane! I'm not gonna let Sandi rub that in my face!

DARIA: (Deadpan voice:) You two do realize that if she sees either one of you, especially you again, Quinn, that she'll kick you out of the Fashion Club, and that all of the begging and flattery in the known universe won't change Sandi's mind in letting you back in this time? (Looks at Jane:) Jane, I think you should trust Darren's judgement, and let him handle this.

Jane looked like she was about to say something to Daria, then looked down and sighed. Incidentally, Quinn glared at Daria for a second, then did the same thing.

JANE: Damn--you're right, Daria--you're right. I gotta trust Darren.

QUINN: This just makes me so mad--an' I can't do a damn thing except watch it! (Crosses her arms, pouts, resumes watching with the others)

Darren held Sandi out at arm's length, and spoke.

DARREN: No, but I'd know, Sandi--I couldn't face Jane and pretend to tell her that nothing happened (thought v.o.: Especially since I know she's probably watching me right now.) when something did. I couldn't, er--live with myself if we kissed.

SANDI: (Rolls her eyes, stomps:) Damn it, Darren--why do you haveta be so straight all of the time? It's just a little kiss! If she asks, you can, like, tell Jane that you wanted to like, uh, end the date on a "positive" note, or something or another! (Jane and Quinn roll their eyes, while Daria watches impassively)

DARREN: (Narrows his eyes, speaks in a determined tone:) No, Sandi--the deal was for a date, and I've fulfilled my end of the bargain. Goodnight. (Turns around to leave)

SANDI: (Looks desperate, thought v.o.: If this doesn't work, nothing will.) Darren, wait, I, oooops--(suddenly faux stumbles forward to the ground)

In a flash, Darren had grabbed Sandi around her waist, keeping her from falling, and she leaned against him to keep her balance, on his chest. Jane, Quinn, and now even Daria looked at the scene, wide-eyed, and surprised.

JANE: (Alarm bells going off:) Ohhelldamnitall--(looks at Daria, exasperated:) sorry, Daria, Quinn--but I can't allow this--(starts to come out of the bushes)

QUINN: (Gasps at the scene, frowns:) Hell no, I don't think so, Sandi! (Begins to follow Jane, thought v.o.: I gotta try that myself on a date!)

DARIA: (Deadpan:) And all hell promptly breaks loose. I hope Quinn enjoys beauty school. (Begins to follow both through the bushes)

Simultaneously, Darren's face was only inches from Sandi's. He looked at her wide-eyed. Darren, you idiot! You should've known this was a trick! Sandi smirked wickedly--she had him just where she wanted him.

SANDI: (Closes her eyes, thought v.o.: You're mine, Darren! Pucker up!) (Begins to close the remaining distance)

Suddenly, the front door of the Griffin's residence opened, and Tom Griffin stood in the doorway in his pajamas and housecoat, frowning. Jane and Quinn stopped in their tracks when they saw Mr. Griffin, doing it so fast, Daria almost stumbled over both of them. Both Quinn and Jane looked at each other foolishly, then went back into the bushes, dragging a surprised Daria back with them on each arm, then resumed their watching. Mr Griffin started to speak as he walked down the small walkway to Darren and Sandi.

MR. GRIFFIN: (Looks incensed, but struggles to actually appear to be:) And um--just what, pray tell, were you doing with my daughter, young man?

DARREN: (Wide-eyed, gently pushes Sandi away from him:) Er, ah, it's not what it looks like, Mr. Griffin, really! You see, your daughter fell forward, and--

SANDI: (Cuts him off, glares at her father:) Fatheeer! You like, ruined a private moment, here! Would you like, leave us alone now, (pauses, smirks:) or should I like, get mother to come out here, an' stuff?

For the tiniest instant, Tom Griffin turned pale--for the tiniest instant, that is. He then frowned even more deeply, and turned a very deep shade of purple, something both Darren and Sandi caught onto extremely quickly.

MR. GRIFFIN: (Roars, points to the open front door:) SANDI FELICIA GRIFFIN, GET YOUR ASS IN THE HOUSE THIS INSTANT! (Sandi is stunned at his outburst, then sheepishly goes by her scowling father, only to stop at the doorway, turn around, and give Mr. Griffin a cold glare) (In the bushes, Quinn is trying like crazy not to bust out laughing, but is just barely doing so, thanks to Daria and Jane holding their hands over her mouth and her while watching Darren and Mr. Griffin)

(Note to reader: Hey, I'm only guessing Sandi's middle name, here!)

SANDI: We'll see what happens tomorrow when mother finds out what you've done, Father. (Looks at Darren, her face softens a bit:) Goodnight, Darren--I really did have a good time with you tonight. Perhaps we can do it again some time. (Turns around, goes into the house and saunters cooly up the stairs)

DARREN: (Thought v.o., sighs, watches her go up: Not in this lifetime, or any other one, if I can help it.)

Mr. Griffin gave a very relieved sigh of his own, and turned to a now-worried Darren.

DARREN: (Holds up his hands:) Uh, Mr. Griffin, I know you might not believe me, but I swear I did not--

MR. GRIFFIN: (Breaks out into a slow smile:) --It's okay, Darren--I believe you.

DARREN: (Dumbfounded beyond belief:) Whaaaat? But--but--

MR. GRIFFIN: (Smirks:) I sneaked out of bed and waited downstairs for the two of you to come in. I've been watching the whole scene since you two came up to our home. I figured you needed a break from my daughter's--er, "advancements", sort to speak.

DARREN: (Now regains his senses:) I--don't--understand, Mr. Griffin. Why--

MR. GRIFFIN: --Why did I do what I did? (Grows quiet:) Well, son, it's like this--my wife basically runs this house. I suspected you probably guessed this was true when you came here for Sandi tonight, am I right? (Darren looks uncomfortable, says nothing) Well, it's the truth, I might as well admit it--Linda basically makes all of the decisions here, and I'm just a stooge. (Smirks:) I'll just bet that your birth father Jake is more in "control" of his home than I am. (Darren holds his tounge, though it's quite a challenge for him to do so, while Quinn snorts, and Jane and Daria smirk) Anyway, my daughter basically is a spoiled brat, even more so than my two sons, thanks to my wife. Sandi gets her way with everyone, save Linda, (sighs:) including me. My daughter, as you've just witnessed, has at times even used Linda as a sort of "shield" against me. (Quinn gasps in surprise, smirks some more, while Daria and Jane shrug) Generally, when she comes home late on a date, I don't say anything because I know Linda will take her side, saying (in a slightly bitter tone:) that Sandi's "responsible enough". I'd tell you why this is so, but it's kind of--long and--complicated. (Pauses, looks at Darren, frowns in thought:) Tonight, however, I decided to make an exception in your case. You looked as if you didn't want to be here, correct? (Darren slowly nods in the affirmative) Ah, good--I wondered why you looked sort of depressed tonight when you came to pick up my daughter. I wanted to ask you out of curiousity, but Linda was there, and I couldn't. Sandi's been raving about you around our dinner table since she first saw you with your--cou--er, no, that's not quite right--sister Quinn at that pizza place she goes out to with her Fashion Club friends. I've never seen her go on about a young fellow like she did about you, Darren. (Darren cocks a surprised eyebrow, while Jane and Quinn look at each other shocked, and Daria simply continues to look at the scene impassively)

DARREN: Ah, don't take what I confirmed to you wrong about not wanting to go out with your daughter tonight, Mr. Griffin--as I told Sandi, she could have any guy she wants--it's just that I already have a girlfriend that (raises his voice a tad louder to enable Jane to hear) I like very much (Jane gives a contented smirk, while Quinn rolls her eyes, and Daria continues to look impassive), and I'm kind of eager to get back to her after I leave here tonight.

MR. GRIFFIN: Of course, Darren--though I am curious to know one thing--why did you go out with my daughter tonight if you already have a girlfriend?

DARREN: (After a moment, sighs:) Well, Mr. Griffin--I basically did it to keep my sister Quinn in the Fashion Club--(Quinn looks down a bit red-faced, a little ashamed, while Jane glares at her for a moment, and Daria continues her impassive look) your daughter would've kicked her out if I didn't. Actually, you just said the reason yourself without realizing it--that Quinn is Daria's and mine's sister, and not cousin. Sandi, your wife, and my birth mother found out about it this week while we were eating at that Milligan's place. Sandi was about to use Quinn's--er, lie as an excuse to do the deed.

MR. GRIFFIN: (Nods:) Ah, now I'm beginning to understand what's going on here--Linda seemed quite excited about your going out on this "date" with Sandi--(ponders:) I wonder if Linda knew what Sandi was up to?

DARREN: (Speculates privately, tempted to say "yes", but shrugs instead:) I don't know, sir--I'm just glad that it's over for tonight--(hastily adds:) no offense against your daughter again, sir.

MR. GRIFFIN: And none taken again, Darren. (Hesitates:) You know, it's too bad in a way--I kind of would've liked to have have a nice young man such as yourself date my daughter--(Darren, Jane, Quinn, and now even Daria shudder at that thought) you seemed to really get to Sandi like no other fellow as I've said--making her seem--nicer. (Smirks:) Are you sure I can't change your mind about dating her some more?

DARREN: (Wide-eyed, starts to back up slowly:) Uh, ah, that's quite all right, Mr. Griffin--(looks at watch:) boy, look at the time! Well, I've got to go, sir! (Turns around quickly, starts almost running to his car)

MR. GRIFFIN: Wait, son, I was just kid--(cuts himself off, sighs, thought v.o.: Well, partially kidding, anyway.) (Turns around, goes inside his house, shuts the door)

Darren quickly came to his car, and took the keys from his pocket so fast, he fumbled with them, and dropped them on the street. He sighed, and squatted down to pick them up. As he grabbed them and rose back up, he saw Daria, Quinn, and Jane come out to the car from behind the bushes. He smiled when he saw them, going over.

DARREN: (Hugs Jane, relieved:) God, am I glad to see you all!

JANE: (Smirks wickedly at him with her arms around his neck:) Likewise. (Suddenly gives him a quick kiss on the lips, while Quinn rolls her eyes, disgusted, and Daria gives a quick smirk)

DARREN: (Recovers, smiles down at Jane:) I'm certainly not complaining, but what was that for?

JANE: (Ponders playfully for a moment:) Call it--the "official" end of your "date" with Sandi, only I'm the one giving you the "closure", and not Sandi.

DARREN: (Smiles:) Fine by me. (Pauses:) Eh--about what happened in front of the Griffins, when Sandi, ah, "stumbled" into me--

JANE: (Waves him off, dismissive:) Ahhh--no sweat. I wasn't worried in the least!

QUINN: (Comes up with Daria:) Neither was I, bro--I knew you wouldn't fall for Sandi's tricks! (Daria gives both girls her "Give me a break" look)

DARREN: (Frowns slightly:) I see you're here, Quinn--let me guess--Stacy and Tiffany let you down in your "hour of need", and you're so angry with them, you decided to ride back here with Daria and Jane.

QUINN: (Now sheepish:) Uh, yeah, you could say that. (Sighs, glances over at Daria, looks down:) Um, Darren, I'm--sorry for comin' out there tonight an' almost ruinin' my chance to stay in th' Fashion Club. It was--stupid an' dumb to do so, and I hope you can forgive me. (Suddenly brushes past a surprised Jane, and hugs Darren tightly:) Please don't stay mad at me!

DARREN: (Surprised, pats her lightly on the back while seeing Daria and Jane give monumental eye-rolls, sighs:) Okay, Quinn--okay, you're forgiven! (Holds her from him, looks down at her pointedly:) Just promise me that you won't do something foolish like that again, okay? (Quinn eagerly nods)

DARIA: (Deadpan:) "Promises, promises". If Dionne Warrick were dead, she'd be turning in her grave by now--but since she's still alive, she's just turning--her stomach would be anyway--just like mine is right now. (Quinn glares at Daria, while Jane smirks, and Darren tries not to laugh)

DARREN: Now, now, Daria--(looks back down to Quinn:) and I owe y