Short summary: A cross-over between Daria and “LotR” (the first part). Enjoy.

Scene 1. (Prologue)

Curtains. Ms. Li is standing before them, saying to the audience (the readers)

Ms. Li: Ladies and gentlemen and children of all ages. It my greatest honour (and the honour of Lawndale High) to show you our presentation of the first part of-

Does a cue, the scene darkens, and Ms. Li vanishes, and bright bold letters state:

Lord with the Ring!

Ms. Li: (off stage) KEVI-IN?!!

Kevin: (also off stage) Sorry.

Lord of the Rings!

Scene 2.

(Black screen). A voice sounding like Mrs. Bennett’s can be heard:

I amar prestar aen. The world is crooked.
han mathon ne nen. I soak it up with the water.
han mathon ne chae. I see it in the eyes.
a Han noston Ned gwilith. I inhale it with the air.
Much that once was is lost. And none, who now lives, remembers anything at all.

Ms. Li: (hissing) You certainly prove that true – didn't you remember the lines?

Mrs. Bennett: (it is her!) Sorry.

Scene 3.

A fire comes onto the screen. A pair of tongs are seen pouring a heated liquid into a mould.

Mrs. Li: (apparently took over Mrs. Bennett with the narrative)

It began with the forging of the Great Rings.

Three were given to the Elves: immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings.

(Three hands are seen, each wearing one of the elven rings, which each has jewels on them. We see the elves (looking suspiciously like the 3 J’s) looking at the rings on their fingers.)

Seven to the dwarf-lords: great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls.
(We see the dwarves (look like sophomores with fake beards and wigs) take their rings)

And nine. Nine rings were gifted to the race of men, who above all else desire power.
(The men (the football team) are seen with their rings)

For within these rings was bound the strength and will to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived.
(We see a crude map of Middle Earth, which blackens, as the screen blacks out.)

For another ring was made.
(Map is shown again, this time showing Mordor).

In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord “Mad Dog” Sauron forged in secret a master ring to control all others.
(We see Mt Doom, a volcano, spitting out lava from the top. We see “Mad Dog’s” face, wearing a golden mask. Then we see a more distant shot of Mad Dog, this time holding something up in his hand).

And into this ring he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to dominate all life.
(Fire blots out his image, and in the fire we see round, gold ring. We see a close shot of Mad Dog, with the ring on his hand. The camera zooms in on the ring, which has fiery elfish letters on it.)

One Ring to rule them all.

“Mad Dog”: (caught in the rush of the moment) I've assembled an unbeatable team!

Ms. Li: (off screen) Yours is a silent role!

(Before this can progress any further, shushing noises are heard and Ms. Li continues to narrate.)
(Once again, we see a map of Middle Earth. A dark cloud originating from Mordor spreads to the rest of Middle Earth).

One by one, free lands of Middle Earth fell to the power of the ring. )(Ms. Li’s voice sounds happy, no matter how hard she tries to control it.)
(The map blends into a village in Middle Earth, where people are running away from Orcs, who are brandishing axes, and burning down houses)

(There’s a sound of a scuffle, and when the narrative continues, it was once again said by Mrs. Bennett):

But there were some who resisted.
(We see an army of men marching, then a long shot of the battle field, where there are thousands of men, elves, and Orcs in battle, marching towards each other. The camera moves up to show Mt Doom)

Mrs. Bennett: A last alliance of Men and Elves marched against the armies of Mordor. And on the slopes of Mount Doom, they fought for the freedom of Middle-earth.

We see an Orc snarling, then a line of archers shooting arrows. Once again, we see a long shot of the battle field, with Orcs falling off cliff tops as they are shot. There are tens of thousands on the battle field.

We see an army of elves and men, commanded by Elrond, who is played by Andrew Landon, who shouts a battle cry

Andrew Landon: Hold your positions! Fire the arrows!

(The Elves/Men have their shields drawn, and as the Orcs charge towards them, they draw their swords and fight them. They slaughter many Orcs)

Mrs. Bennett: Victory was near. But the power of the ring could not be undone.

(“Mad Dog” Sauron appears, and with him, a hazy cloud. We see a close up shot of his hand, which is wearing the golden ring. The fiery letters are very clear. He swings his mace, and the men and elves against him are flung outwards, yelling in pain. The king charges forward, trying to kill “Mad Dog”. The latter slashes at him, flinging him to the ground. His sword falls. Isildur, (Mack in bad make-up) his son, runs to his side, and takes off his helmet)

Mrs. Bennett: It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Sauron, son of the king, took up his father's sword.

Ms. Barch: Sauron didn't have an affair with the Numenorans, you dolt!

Mrs. Bennett: Bagger off!

As “Mack” grabs the sword, “Mad Dog” steps on it, breaking it. But “Mack” still has a hold on its hilt, and slashes at “Mad Dog’s” hand, cutting off the finger which wears the ring. The finger, still with the ring on it, falls to the ground, as “Mad Dog” falls backwards. “Mack” sits up and leans over the ring, as his opponent is destroyed in a light that seems to come from his body. A bright light comes from him, and a cloud spreads over the battlefield, killing all the Orcs and dark allies. “Mad Dog’s” mask/helmet falls to the ground, smoke coming out of it.

Mrs. Bennett: Sauron, the end of the three people of Middle-earth, was defeated…

Ms. Barch: (to Ms. Li) Angela, stop her! She’s not even making sense anymore!

Ms. Li: Not now, Janet!
”Mack”, amazed, picks up “Mad Dog’s” finger, (a Polish sausage made look fancy) with the ring on it)

Mrs. Bennett: The ring passed to Elrond, who had this one chance to destroy evil forever.

Ms. Barch: Elrond isn’t the son of Sauron and Isildur! Don't you hear what you are saying?
(We see the ring in “Mack’s” hand, and as he holds it, the finger of “Mad Dog” turns to powder)

Mrs. Bennett: But the hearts of men are easily corrupted. And the ring of power has a will of its own.
(We see “Mack” on a horse, and the ring on a chain around his neck. He is attacked by Orcs. One jumps onto his back, and the others shoot him with their arrows. He is seen in the Great River, dead, with three arrows in his back.)

Mrs. Bennett: He betrayed Elrond to his death.

Ms. Barch: You have mixed-up Isildur and Elrond again!
(The ring is seen floating down to the bottom of the river)

Mrs. Bennett: And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend; legend became myth. And for two and a half thousand years the ring passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, it ensnared a new bearer.

(Screen fades to black, we see the same spot of the river, and then we see the ring, half buried, still on the river floor. A hand is seen closing over it)

Gollum: My precious.

(We see Gollum (Upchuck in a wetsuit) holding the ring in his hand, then a shot of the Misty Mountains)

Mrs. Bennett: The Ring had come to the hands of creature Golom, who took it to the depth of the magic mountain, and there he was burning with mad lust. And there it consumed him.

Ms. Barch: Sounds like a man!
(We see Gollum, deep in a cave, squatting on a rock, looking at the ring in his hand)

Upchuck: It came to me. My own. My love. My own. My Precious... Gollum... (pauses) Feisty!

Mrs. Bennett: The ring brought to Gollum unnatural long life. For 500 years it poisoned his mind. And in the gloom of Gollum's cave it waited.
(Screen blacks out, then we see an indistinct shape, which comes into focus: a full moon. The image sharpens more, and we see it behind the cover of a tree.)

Mrs. Bennett: Darkness crept back in the forest of the world. Gollum grew the shadow in the East, whispers of a nameless fear.

Daria: Plot twist! Gollum is the mastermind behind all of this, not Sauron!

Ms. Li: Miss Morgendorffer, be quiet! Mrs. Bennett is suffering, as it is!
(We see a ripple in the Great Lake, then the screen merges into a shot of a red sunset.)

Mrs. Bennett: (ignoring Daria’s comment) And the ring of power perceived its time had now come.
(We hear the sound of metal on rock, echoing through Gollum's cave, and see his ring falling.)

Mrs. Bennett: It abandoned Gollum. But something happened then, the ring did not intend. It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable.
(A hand is seen on the ring)

Bilbo (Jake Morgendorffer): What's this?

Mrs. Bennett: A hoppit. Bilbo Baggins of Lawndale.

Mr. O’Neill: Uh, it’s a hobbit, not hoppit.
(We see a full view of a hobbit, who fingers it, then smiles)

Jake: A ring.

Upchuck: (Offstage, in the distance) Lost! My Precious is lost!!!

(We see the outside of the Misty Mountains, now moving away from them.)
Mrs. Bennett: For the time would soon come when hobbits would shape the fortunes of all.

(The screen blacks out).

Scene 4.

Screen fades in, and we a scene in the woods, where Frodo (Daria) is sitting under a tree, reading a book. The words "The Fellowship of the Ring" appear, then 'Lawndale... 60 years later.'
We hear a voice singing, and Daria looks up.

It’s Gandalf (Amy Barksdale): (singing) Down from the door where it began... Daria stands up, taking a pipe out of her mouth as she does so. She smiles her Mona Lisa smile, and runs off. We see the back of a cart, and of Amy in a witch-suit who is singing.

Amy: (Sings:) (she doesn’t remember the right words so here’s her version)
The Kraken grows on and on,
Away from the lair where it began,
Now far ahead the Kraken has gone,
And I must stop if I can.

Daria: You're late

Amy: A witch is never late, Daria. Nor is she early. She arrives precisely when she means to.
(They try to keep a straight face, but fail. They both laugh. Daria jumps onto her wagon).

Daria: It's wonderful to see you, Aunt Amy!

Amy: Just Amy, Daria. (laughs) You didn't think I'd miss your father Jake’s birthday? (laughs)

Daria: What news of the outside world? Tell me everything.

Amy: Everything? Curiosity is an unforgivable weakness in a hobbit... Well, what can I tell you? Strange things are happening. It’s scary. VERY scary.

Hobbit: (waves) Look! It's Amy!

Amy: Ooh - The long expected party. (Hobbits can be seen putting up a banner saying 'Happy Birthday Jake Morgendorffer')

Amy: So how is the old rascal? I hear it's going to be a party of special magnificence.

Daria: You know dad. He's got the whole place in an uproar.

Amy: Now, well, that should please him.

Daria: Half Lawndale's been invited!

Amy: Good gracious me! What a great habit!

Daria: He's up to something

Amy: Hmm... (mutters)

Daria: All right then, keep your secrets. Before you came along, we Morgendorffers were very well thought of.

Amy: Indeed.

Daria: Never had any adventures or did anything unexpected.

Amy: If you're referring to the incident with dragon, I was barely involved. I simply gave your father a nasty kick in the butt – er, a little nudge out of the door.

Daria: Whatever you did, you've been officially labelled a disturber of the peace.

Amy: (mutters) Oh, really? (A hobbit sees Amy, and looks rather displeased) (Hobbit children are seen running through the fields. Soon, they come to the road that the cart is on, and stand on one fork of it.)

Hobbit kids: Amy! Amy’s here!! Amy! Fireworks, Amy... Amy! Fireworks, Amy... (Amy takes the other fork).

Hobbit kids: Ohhhh...

Amy lets some fireworks out of the back of the wagon.
Hobbit children cheer & Amy laughs. Hobbit man laughs, but stops when he sees the look on his wife's face).

Daria: (Gets off the wagon) Amy - I'm glad you're back.

Amy: So am I, dear girl. (mutters to herself:) So am I.

(Daria runs off into the fields, Amy continues on to Bag End. Amy opens a gate, which reads 'No admittance except on party business.' Amy knocks on the door)

Jake: No, thank you! We don't want any more visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations!

Amy: And what about some not so distant relatives?

Jake: Amy?

Amy: Jake Morgendorffer. (Holds her hands out to him)

Jake: My dear Amy! (He walks towards Amy and embraces her)

Amy: Good to see you. One hundred and eleven years old. Who would believe it? (Looks at Jake) You haven't aged a day. (they both laugh)

Jake: Come on, come in! Welcome, welcome. (Shuts the door)

(Mutters) Oh, here we are.

(He takes Amy’s stick and hat).

Tea? Or maybe something a little stronger. I've got a few of bottles of the old Winyard left. 1296. Very good year. Almost as old as I am. Ha ha ha ha ha It was laid down by my father. What's say we open one, eh?

Amy: Just tea, thank you. (Amy hits her head on one of the lights. Then, as he's putting it straight, she hits her head on the ceiling). Ohh...

Jake: (mutters in the background:) I was expecting you sometime last week. Not that it matters. You come and go as you please. Always have done and always will. You caught me a bit unprepared, I'm afraid. We've only got some cold chicken and a bit of pickle... There's some cheese. Oh no, that won't do. We've got raspberry jam, an apple tart... But not much for afters. Oh, no, we're all right. I've just found some sponge cake.

(Amy looks at some maps on the table)

Jake: I can make you some eggs if you li-- A- Amy?

Amy: Just tea, thank you.

Jake: Oh, right. (Stuffs some cake in his mouth, and mumbles:) You don't mind if I eat, do you?

Amy: No, not at all.

Female Voice: (bangs on door) Jake! Jake Morgendorffer. (bangs on door more loudly)

Jake: I'm not at home! I've got to get away from these confounded relatives, hanging on the bell all day, never giving me a moment's peace. I want to see mountains again, mountains, Amy. And then find somewhere quiet where I can finish my book... Oh - tea!

Amy: So you mean to go through with your plan, then?

Jake: Yes, yes, it's all in hand. All the arrangements are made. (Jake gets the tea, and Amy takes the lid off for him).

Jake: Oh, thank you.

Amy: Daria suspects something.

Jake: 'Course he does. She's a Morgendorffer! Not some blockheaded Barksdale from New Hampshire...

Amy: (ignoring Jake’s last statement) You will tell her, won't you?

Jake: Yes, yes.

Amy: She's very fond of you.

Jake: I know. She'd probably come with me if I asked him. I think in her heart, Daria’s still in love with Lawndale. The woods, the fields. Little rivers. I'm old, Amy. I know I don't look it, but I'm beginning to feel it in my heart. This pain is filling me and leaking out, like butter which was placed too thick on a piece of bread. (Pauses, recognizes that that’s not how that line is run, tries again.) I'm old, Amy, even if I don't look old. But I begin to feel it with one of my parts. I feel pain, kind of. I feel the oily touch of this pain, which is scratching. (Recognizes that is still wrong, but doesn't have the heart to retry a third time.) I need a holiday. A very long holiday. And I don't expect I shall return. In fact, I mean not to.

Scene 5.

The night of the party. Jake and Amy are sitting on the top of a hill together.

Jake: (Clearly flashing back to his hippie days) What can be better then getting stoned with your old friend? Good old Toby - the last of merry old men.

(Jake blows a smoke ring, and Amy blows a ship that goes through it)

Jake: Amy, my old sister-in-law. This will be a night to remember.

Scene 6.

Fireworks go off, everyone cheers. Hobbits are dancing.

Jake: (Is talking to some guests)

Hello, hello. Superintendent Smith. Lovely to see you. Welcome, welcome!

Daria: Go on, Jane, ask Tom for a dance

Jane: I hate you, and I think I'll just have another ale instead.

Daria: Oh, no you don't! Go on! (Jane stands up for another ale, but Daria pushes her towards Tom. They dance).

(Jake is telling a group of young hobbit children a story)

Jake: So there I was, at the mercy of three monstrous military men. And they were all arguing amongst themselves about how they were going to cook us. Whether it is turned on a spit, or whether they should sit on us one by one, squash us, to jelly.

Hobbit girl: (gasps)

Jake: And they spent so much time arguing, the hitherto and the whyfors that the sun's first light crept over the top of the trees -poof-

Hobbit kids: (gasp)

Jake: And turned them all to stone!

Scene 7.

Amy takes out some fireworks from a wagon in a tent. As she leaves, Quinn and Stacy come out from behind the tent.

Stacy: (whispers) Quickly! (Quinn gives Stacy a leg up onto the wagon)

Scene 8.

Amy is letting off some butterfly fireworks for the young hobbit children

Amy: Oh! Up they go!

Scene 9.

Stacy takes out a cracker.

Quinn: No, no, the big one, big one. (Stacy takes out a dragon shaped one. They light it)

Stacy: Done (pushes the top end towards Quinn)

Quinn: You're supposed to stick it in the ground. (pushes it back to Stacy)

Stacy: It is in the ground (Pushes it back to Quinn, who pushes it back to Stacy)

Quinn: Outside... (They continue pushing the lit firework back and forth)

Stacy: This was your idea! (Cracker goes off, and Quinn and Stacy are both thrown to the ground. The cracker lets out fireworks, then turns into a fiery dragon. The hobbits scream and run away from it.)

Daria: Dad, watch out for the dragon

Jake: Dragon? Nonsense, there hasn't been a dragon in these parts for a thousand years! (The 'dragon' goes off in to the distance, and fills the sky with fireworks).

Hobbits: Oh! (They cheer)

Quinn: That was good!

Stacy: Let's get another one

Amy: (grabs them by the ears.) Quinn Morgendorffer and Stacy Rowe. I might've known.

Quinn and Stacy are seen washing up the dishes.

The hobbit crowd: Speech, Jake! Speech! (They cheer and clap)

Daria: Speech!

(Jake walks up to the front of the crowd)

Jake: My dear Tooks, Brendybucks and errr… [pause] errr… other respectable families. Today is my one hundred and eleventh birthday! (Cheers from the crowd).

Hobbit in the crowd: Happy Birthday!

Jake: Alas. Eleventy one years is far too short a time to live amongst such excellent, and admirable hobbits. I don't like half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. I er ... I have things to do. (Puts his hand into his pocket, and takes out a gold ring) (whispers) I've put this off for far too long. I regret to announce this is the end. I'm going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell. (whispers) Goodbye

(He vanishes, and the crowd gasps. He makes his way back to Bag End, still invisible, and takes off his ring once he has closed the door behind him. He appears, laughing. He flips the ring into the air, then catches it, putting it back into his coat pocket. Humming, he picks up his stick, and enters the living room, where the fireplace is already lit.)

Amy: I suppose you think that was terribly clever.

Jake: (Gasps, looking around him, and seeing Amy)

Come on Amy, did you see their faces!

Amy: There are many magic rings in this world, Jake Morgendorffer, and none of them should be used lightly!

Jake: It was just a bit of fun... Oh, you're probably right, as usual... You will keep an eye on Daria, won't you?

Amy: Of course – two lives, how can one separate them? (Realizes that she said something wrong, but doesn’t have time to correct that.)

Jake: I'm leaving everything to him.

Amy: What about this ring of yours, is that staying too?

Jake: Yes, yes. It's in the tenth envelope on the mantelpiece... No. It's on a little shelf for medals. No, it’s in my pocket. Fate's caprice? Why not? Why is it here? Why's this Ring? Why did I keep it? (Takes ring out and finger it). Why - isn't that - isn't that odd, now. Yet after all that, why not. (whispers) Why shouldn't I keep it?

Amy: (clearly getting fed-up with Jake’s theatrics) I think you should leave the ring behind, Jake. Is that so hard?

Jake: Well no... And yes. Now it comes to it, I don't feel like parting with it. It's mine! I found it! It came to me!

Amy: There's no need to get angry.

Jake: Well if I'm angry, it's your fault! ... It's mine. My own. My precious. (eyes bulge)

Amy: Precious? It's been called that before, but not by you.

Jake: Oh, what business is it of yours what I do with my own things?!

Amy: I think you've had that ring quite long enough.

Jake: You want if for yourself!!

Amy: (finally had enough: Jake’s been more and more of a prima donna those last few lines)
JAKE MORGENDORFFER! DO NOT FORCE ME TO USE THE OLD CHEAP TRICKS! I AM NOT TRYING TO ROB YOU!!
(calms down). I'm trying to help you.
(places her hand on his shoulder). All your long years, we've been friends. Trust me, as you once did, hmm? Let it go.

Jake: You're right, Amy. The ring must go to Daria. (Prepares to leave) It's late, the road is long... Yes, it is time... (Walks out the door)

Amy: Jake. The ring is still in your pocket.

Jake: Oh - yes.

(Puts it on the palm of his hand, and turns his hand over, letting it drop. It does not bounce. Jake turns and walks out his door, and Amy follow him.)

Jake: I've thought up an ending for my book.

(He turns around to look at Amy)

"And he lived happily ever after, to the end of his days"

Amy: And I'm sure you will, my dear friend.

Jake: Goodbye Amy.

Amy: Goodbye, dear Jake

(They shake hands)

Helen: (off screen) Knock it off you two or else!

Jake: (quickly leaves) The road goes ever on and on, etc.

Amy: (Softly, to herself) Until our next meeting

(Amy walks back into the house. She leans over the ring, and reaches out the touch it, but sees a red eye. She leaves it on the floor. The scene cuts out, and we see her sitting by the fire, smoking).

Voice of Jake: It's mine. My own. My precious

Amy: Riddles in the dark...

Daria: (In the distance). Dad! (Opens door). Dad! (Leans over, and picks up the ring).

Amy: A precious... Precious...

Daria: He's gone, hasn't he?

Amy lets out a puff of smoke

Daria: (with joy and hope) Did he leave at last? He was talking about it for so long I lost all hope it would finally happen. Still can't believe it!
Amy turns around to face Daria

Daria shows Amy the ring in the palm of her hand

Amy: (smiles) Jake’s ring. He's gone to stay with the Elves. He's left you Bag End. (She holds out an envelope to Daria, who puts the ring into it. Amy seals the envelope with a red stamp). Along with all his possessions. The ring is yours now.
(Any holds out the envelope to Daria, who takes it).
(whispers) But keep it somewhere out of sight.

(Amy prepares to leave).

Daria: Where are you going?

Amy: There are some things that I must see to.

Daria: What things?

Amy: Questions. Questions that need answering

Daria: You've only just arrived. I don't understand.

Amy: (stops and turns around) Neither do I.

(Leans over to face Daria). Keep it secret.

(Places his hand on Daria's shoulder).

Keep it safe.

(She leaves, and shuts the door)

Daria looks at the envelope in his hand).

Scene 10.

We see shots of Mt Doom, then Minas Morgul.

Voice: (Upchuck’s) Lawndale! Lawndale! Morgendorffer!

The Gates of Minas Morgul open, and the riders in black are seen riding out from them. Then the scene switches to Gandalf, who is riding up a slope and looking out onto Mount Doom. He then rides off to Minas Tirith, and enters a building full of old scrolls.

Amy: (reads) The year 3434, of the Second Age. Here follows the account of Isil - Mack, High King of Gondor, and the finding of the Ring of Power. (Images are seen of “Mack” taking the ring from the hand of “Mad Dog”).

It has come to me, the One Ring, which shall be an heirloom of my kingdom. All those who follow in my bloodline shall be bound to its fate, for I will risk no hurt to the Ring. It is precious to me, though I buy it with a great pain... The markings upon the band begin to fade. The writing which at first was as clear as red flame, has all but disappeared, a secret now that only fire can tell.

Scene 11.

Scene switches to a house in Lawndale. It is dark, and a man and his dog are standing outside the door, when a rider in black approaches. The dog starts barking, but backs into the house.

Rider: Lawndale. Morgendorffer

Hobbit: (merrily) Morgendorffers are not at home. They are on a big celebration in Hobbiton. It's right over there! (Rider leaves)

Scene 12.

Scene switches to Hobbiton, where Daria is at the Green Dragon Inn. Jane and Daria leave, and pass by Tom Sloane, who waves as they pass-by.

Jane: Good night.

Tom: Good night.

(Daria and Jane leave, and walk back to Bag End.)

Daria: Good night, Jane.

Daria enters Bag End, while Jane continues on his way home. Upon entering Bag End, Daria finds the windows open, and her papers flying about the house. Suddenly, she feels a hand on his shoulder. She turns around, and sees Amy.

Amy: Is it secret? Is it safe?

Daria: (Searches in a box, where he finds the envelope he put the ring into) Ah.

Amy: (Grabs it from her and throws it into the fire.)

Daria: What are you doing?

Amy: (Takes it out from the fire with tongs, and holds it out to Daria). Hold out your hand, Daria. It's quite cool.

Daria: (Holds out his hand, as though expecting it to be hot. Amy drops the ring onto her palm.)

Amy: What can you see? Can you see anything?

Daria: (Examines the ring). Nothing. There's nothing.

Amy: (sighs in relief).

Daria: Wait... There are markings. It's some form of Elfish. I can't read it.

Amy: There are few who can. The language is that of Mordor, which I will not utter here.

Daria: Mordor?!

Amy: In the common tongue, it says "One Ring to Rule them all, One Ring to find them. One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them."

(Amy sits at the table, smoking, while Daria makes tea)

Amy: This is the One Ring, forged by the Dark Lord, “Mad Dog” Sauron in the fires of Mount Doom, taken by Isil – Mack from the hand of “Mad Dog” himself.

Daria: Dad found it. In Gollum's cave.

Amy: Yes. For 60 years the Ring lay quiet, in Jake’s keeping, prolonging his life, delaying old age. But no longer, Daria. Evil is stirring in Mordor. The Ring has awoken. It's heard its master's call.

Daria: But he was destroyed. “Mad Dog” was destroyed.

(Sounds come from the Ring, and Amy and Daria look at it, as though afraid of it.)

Amy: (whispers) No, Daria. His life-force is stored in the Ring, and the Ring has come to life. “Mad Dog” was resurrected. Now he possesses not one life but many. His assistant Baridor rebuilt his kingdom. He needs only this Ring to cover all the lands in a second darkness. He is seeking it. Seeking it, all his thought is bent on it. The ring yearns above all else to return to the hand of its master. (whispers) They are one. The ring, and the Dark Lord. Daria. He must never find it.

Daria: (Takes the envelope containing the ring, and walks into the next room, as though seeking for a place to hide it). All right. We put it away. We keep it hidden. We never speak of it again. No one knows it's here, do they? Do they, Amy? (Turns around to face Amy)

Amy: There is one other that knew that Jake had the Ring. I looked everywhere for the creature Gollum. But the enemy found him first. (We see shots of Gollum - Upchuck being tortured.) I don't know how long they tortured him for. But amidst the endless screams and inane babble, they discerned two words.

Upchuck: LAWNDALE! MORGENDORFFER!

Daria: Lawndale! Morgendorffer?! But that would lead them here!

Scene 13.

Scene switches, and the riders in black are seen. A hobbit holds out a lantern.

Hobbit: Who goes there?

One of the riders swings a sword at his head.

Scene 14.

Daria: Take it Amy! Take it! (Frodo holds out the ring to Amy).

Amy: No Daria

Daria: You must take it!

Amy: You cannot offer me this Ring.

Daria: I'm giving it to you!

Amy: DON'T ... tempt me, Daria!

Daria: (Daria lowers his hand).

Amy: I dare not take it. (whispers) Not even to keep it safe. Understand, Daria, I would use this Ring from a desire to do good. But through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine.

Daria: But it cannot stay in Lawndale!

Amy: NO - no it can't.

Daria: (Closes his hand over the Ring) What must I do?

(We hear a cupboard door creaking, and we see Daria packing to leave.)

Amy: You must leave. And leave quickly.

Daria: Where? Where do I go?

Amy: Get out of Lawndale. Make for the village of Bree.

Daria: Bree... What about you?

Amy: I'll be waiting for you, at the inn of the Prancing Pony.

Daria: And the Ring will be safe there?

Amy: I don't know, Daria. I don't have any answers. I must see the head of my order – another one of my sisters. She is both wise, and powerful. (Pauses, thinks a bit) Well, powerful at any rate, and certainly smarter than an average hobbit. Trust me, Daria. She'll know what to do, or at least will give me an example of what not to. You'll have to leave the name of Morgendorffer behind you, for that name is not safe outside Lawndale. Travel only by day, and stay off the road.

Daria: I can cut across country easily enough.

Amy: My dear Daria. Hobbits really are amazing creatures. You can learn all that there is to know about their ways in a month, and yet after a hundred years, they can still surprise you.

(A clicking noise is heard. The camera view moves to the window)

Amy: Get down. (She takes his staff, slowly moving towards the window, then points her staff out of the window, and hits something. Then she sticks her hands out of the window and grabs something. It turns out to be a hobbit. She drops him onto the table.) Confound it all, Jane Lane! Have you been eavesdropping?

Jane: I haven't been dropping no eaves, ma’am. Honest. I was just cutting the grass under the window there, if you follow me. (looks innocent)

Amy: (sarcastically) A little late for trimming the verge, don't you think?

Jane: I heard raised voices...

Amy: What did you hear? SPEAK!

Jane: N-n-n-nothing important. That is I heard a good deal about a Ring, Dark Lord, and something about the end of the world, but, please Miss Amy, ma’am, please don't 'hurt me. Don't do anything unnatural to me... (Pauses, realizes her slip of tongue)

Amy: No... Perhaps not... (whispers) I've thought of a better use for you

Scene 14.

The next day, at dawn, Amy is seen leading her horse into the woods, with Daria and Jane following him.

Amy: Come along, Jane, keep up. Be careful, both of you. The enemy has many spies in his service: Birds, beasts... (to Daria:) Is it safe?

Daria: Puts her hand over her coat pocket.

Amy: Never put it on. For the agents of the Dark Lord will be drawn to its power. Always remember, Daria. The Ring is trying to get back to its master. It wants to be found. (Amy rides off into the woods, birds are heard screeching).

Jane and Daria set off. We see several shots of them traveling across the countryside. After some time, they come to a field, with knee-high crops. Jane stops.

Jane: This is it.

Daria: This is what?

Jane: If I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been.

Daria: (Walks back towards Jane) Come on, Jane. All of your siblings have gone much further than that.

Jane: (Takes step) Sure, rub it in.

Daria: (Puts his hand onto Jane’s shoulder) Remember what Dad used to say? (They continue walking) "It's a dangerous business... (Voice changes to Jake’s)

Jake: (seems to be heartfelt): If you aren't steady on your legs, something can knock you off and drag away …

Scene 15.

Scene switches to Amy. She rides off to Isengard, to find Rita, the head of her order. We see shots of her on the way to Isengard.

Rita: Smoke rises from the mountain of Doom, and the hour grows late, and Amy the Grey Barksdale rides to Isengard, seeking my counsel. For that is why you have come, is it not? My kid sister

Amy: Rita. (nods)

Scene 16.

Amy and Rita are talking as they walk in the garden.

Rita: You are sure of this?

Amy: Beyond any doubt.

Rita: So the Ring of Power has been found.

Amy: All these long years, it was in Lawndale, under my very nose.

Rita: Then tell me sis, who and when had smashed your brains out? (Realizes that’s not correct) Your love of trees has clearly slowed your mind.

Amy: (glares) But we still have time. Time enough to counter “Mad Dog” if we act quickly.

Rita: Time? What time do you think we have?

Scene 17.

The scene moves to Rita’s room.

Rita: “Mad Dog” has regained much of his former strength. He cannot yet take physical form, but his spirit has lost none of its potency. Concealed within his fortress, the Lord of Mordor sees all. His gaze pierces cloud, shadow, earth and flesh. You know of what I speak, Amy. A Great Eye, lidless, wreathed in flame.

Amy: (Whispers) The Eye of Sauron.

Rita: He is gathering all evil to him. Very soon he will summon an army great enough to launch an assault upon Middle Earth.

Amy: You know all this? How?

Rita: I have seen it.

Scene 18. Amy and Rita are walking into the hall.

Amy: A palantir is a dangerous tool, Rita. (walking towards the palantir).

Rita: Why? Why should we fear to use it? (Takes cover off palantir)

Amy: They are not all accounted for, the lost Seeing-stones. We do not know who else may be watching. (Puts the cover back onto the palantir)

Rita: The hour is later than you think. “Mad Dog’s” forces are already moving. The nine have left Minas Morgul.

Amy: (whispers)The Nine?

Rita: They crossed the river Isen on Midsummer's Eve, disguised as riders in black.

Amy: They've reached Lawndale?

Rita: They will find the ring, and kill the one who carries it.

Amy: (whispers)Daria! Daria! (Makes for a door, but as she approaches it, it is closed. He makes for the other 3 doors, but each close as she heads for them). Sis, that’s not funny!

Amy: You do not seriously think that a Hobbit could contend with the will of Sauron? There are none who can. Against the power of Mordor, there can be no victory. We must join with him, Amy. We must join with Sauron. It would be wise, my sister.

Amy: Tell me, sis. When did you abandon reason for madness? That’s too dumb even for you!

Rita pins Amy against the wall about the door, then lets him drop. They use their staffs to fight, but Rita manages to take Amy’s staff from her.

Rita: (Pointing both staffs at Amy.) I gave you the chance of aiding me willingly, but you have elected a way of pain!

(She uses her staff to throw her to the top of the tower of Isengard.)

Scene 19.

The scene shifts back to Daria and Jane. We see Jane, who is now walking along a path. On either side of her are crops considerably taller than herself. She looks around her, and cannot see Daria.

Jane: Daria? Daria! DARIA! (Daria comes into sight, and Jane sighs in relief.) I thought I'd lost you.

Daria: What are you talking about?

Jane: It's just something Amy said.

Daria: What did she say?

Jane: "Don't you lose her, Jane Lane." And I don't mean to.

Daria: Jane, we're still in Lawndale. What could possibly happen?

Just then, Quinn and Stacy come out from the bushes, and fall onto Daria and Jane.

Stacy: Daria! Quinn - It's your cousin Daria!

Quinn: Hello, Daria.

Jane: (heaves Stacy off Daria). Get off her! Come on, Daria.

Daria: What's the meaning of this?

Quinn: (To Jane) Hold these.

Jane: You've been into Ms. Barch’s crop!

Ms. Barch: (Barking noises are heard) Get the **** out of my field, you half-sized ****! Just let me get you, I'll tear your ears off!

Jane: (Stands holding the cabbages and carrots) Oooh. (Drops them on the ground and follows the others into the cover of Ms Barch’s crop.)

Quinn: I don't know why she's so upset. It's only a couple of carrots

Stacy: And some cabbages. And then those three bags of potatoes we lifted last week, and, and, the mushrooms, the week before!

Quinn: Yes, Stacy, my point is, she's clearly overreacting! Run!

They run, but come to the edge of a steep slope. Stacy, Quinn, and Jane try to keep their balance, and almost manage, but then Jane hits into the back of Daria, causing them all to fall down the slope.

Stacy: (Falls near a pile of animal manure.) Oh. That was close.

Quinn: Ahhh. Ohhh. I think I've broken something. (Pulls out a broken carrot from underneath her)

Jane: Trust a Morgendorffer from the incorrect side of Lawndale and a Rowe.

Quinn: What? It was just a detour. A shortcut.

Jane: A shortcut to what?

Stacy: (Spots something on the ground) Mushrooms!!

Jane, Stacy, and Quinn and whispering, as they put some mushrooms into a bag.

Quinn: Take that one...

Stacy: That's mine... Mmmm... That's nice, Quinn. Here's a nice one, Jane.

Daria: I think we should get off the road.

The sound of a horse neighing is heard, and the leaves rustle on the ground.

Daria: Get off the road! QUICK!

(The hobbits hurry off the road, and find a hiding place under the roots of a tree. Quinn and Stacy fight over the bag of mushrooms.)

Jane: (Whispers) Be quiet!

(A rider in black comes dismounts, and comes towards their hiding place. Daria closes her eyes, and takes out the Ring, and as she does so, the rider turns its’ face towards her. Daria holds the Ring near to her finger, preparing to put it on, but Jane notices, and taps her on the shoulder. Daria opens her eyes, and puts the Ring away, and as she does, the Rider looks away. Quinn throws the bag of mushrooms off into the distance, and the rider moves towards it. The Hobbits leave their hiding place and run.)

Quinn: What was that?

(Daria does not answer, but takes out the Ring, holding it in the palm of her hand.)

(The Hobbits are shown running through the woods in the dark. At least one rider is nearby.)

Quinn: Anything?

Daria: Nothing!

Stacy: What is going on?

Quinn: That Black Rider was looking for something. Or someone... Daria?

Daria: (Turns around to face Quinn)

Stacy: Get down!

The Hobbits get down, and a Rider is seen nearby.

Daria: I have to leave Lawndale. Jane and I must get to Lawrence.

Quinn: Right... the ferry. Follow me.

They follow Quinn, but a black rider sees and chases them.

Jane: Run! Daria, this way! Follow me! Daria! Hurry! Run! Daria!

They run, and come to the river. Jane, Quinn and Stacy are there, but Daria is still being chased by a black rider.

Quinn: Get the rope, Jane!

Jane: Daria!

The Hobbits: Run, Daria! Go! Hurry! Come on! Faster! Jump!

The others have untied the boat, and it is drifting off. Daria runs, and manages to jump onto the boat. The rider stops at the river bank, and turns around.

Daria: How far to the nearest crossing?

Quinn: The bridge. 20 miles.

The rider is seen riding off, and is joined by at two other Riders in black.

Scene 20.

The Hobbits are seen approaching the gate into Bree.

Daria: Come on.

They knock on the gate. The gatekeeper opens a shutter, but it is too high up to see the hobbits, and opens a lower one.

Gatekeeper: What do you want?

Daria: We're heading for the Prancing Pony.

Gatekeeper:

(Opens gate). Hobbits. Four hobbits! What business brings you to Bree?

Daria: We wish to stay at the inn. Our business is our own.

Gatekeeper: Alright, young lady, I meant no offence. It's my job to ask questions after nightfall. There's talk of strange folk abroad. Can't be too careful.

(The gatekeeper lets them in. Lawrence is full of men, or 'big folk', as the hobbits call them, and it is a rough area. One of the hobbits bumps into one of the men.)

Man: Out of the way! Watch where you're walking.

(Eventually, they find the inn of the 'Prancing Pony', and enter it.)

Daria: (walks up to the counter)Excuse me.

Innkeeper: Good evening, little mistresses. If you're seeking accommodation, we've got some nice cozy, Hobbit-sized rooms available... Miss... er...

Daria: Barksdale. My name's Barksdale.

Innkeeper: Barksdale, yes...

Daria: We're friends and relatives of Amy the Grey Barksdale. Can you tell her we've arrived?

Innkeeper: Amy? Amy... Oh.... yes! I remember. Youngish lady in a pointy hat.

Daria: (Smiles and nods)

Innkeeper: Not seen her for 6 months.

Daria: (turns around to face Jane, Quinn, and Stacy)

Jane: What do we do now?

The scene skips to the hobbits sitting at a table

Daria: Jane - she'll be here. She'll come.

Quinn: (Makes her way to the table, with a large mug of drink, but bumps into a man.)

Man: Get out of my way!

Stacy: What's that?

Quinn: This, girl-friend, is a pint.

Stacy: It comes in pints? I'm getting one. (walks off)

Jane: You've got a whole half already!! (To Daria). That fellow's done nothing but stare at you since we arrived.

Daria: (To innkeeper, as he walks past) Excuse me. That man in the corner. Who is he?

Innkeeper: (Looks at the man, who’s Mack without the make-up) He's one of them Rangers. Dangerous folk, they are, wandering in the Wilds. What his right name is, I've never heard, but around here, he's known as Mack Daddy. (He walks off)

Daria: Mack Daddy...

Daria fingers her ring.

Voice of the Ring: Morgendorffer. Morgendorffer. Morgendorffer... Morgendorffer...

Stacy: Morgendorffer? Sure I know a Morgendorffer. She's over there (Stacy is talking to some men, and points to Daria). Daria Morgendorffer. She's Quinn’s second cousin once removed on her mother's side and Quinn’s third cousin, twice removed... (The voices of the other people in the room drown out her voice)

Daria: (Anxiously makes her way towards Stacy to stop him) Stacy! (She grabs her, causing Stacy to spill some of her drink)

Stacy: Steady on Daria!

Daria: (Trips on the foot of one of the men, falling backwards. As she hits the ground, her ring flies upward, and it falls back down onto her finger, causing her to disappear).

The black riders are seen coming closer to the inn: they are drawn to its power. Daria sees the world in darkness when she puts on the ring. There are many shadows, and he hears a voice.

Voice: You cannot hide. I see you. There is no life in the void. Only death.

(Daria sees a great red eye, and pulls the ring off her finger. Just as she is recovering, she finds a hand on her shoulder. Mack pulls her up the stairs into her room.)

Mack: You draw far too much attention to yourself, Miss Barksdale.

Daria: What do you want?

Mack: A little more caution from you, that is no trinket you carry.

Daria: I carry nothing.

Mack: Indeed. I can avoid being seen if I wish. But to disappear entirely. That is a rare gift. (he pinches the candles in the room to put them out, and takes off his hood)

Daria: Who are you?

Mack: Are you frightened?

Daria: Yes.

Mack: Not nearly frightened enough. I know what hunts you.

The door is opened, and Mack draws his sword. Quinn, Stacy, and Jane are seen standing in the doorway. Jane has her fists held forward.

Jane: Let her go, or will kill you!

Mack: (sarcastically) I’m sure you will, I don't doubt you.

(Exchange looks, realize they said wrong words, and try again)

Jane: Are you crazy?

Mack: You have a good heart.

(others look at them, and Jane and Mack try again.)

Jane: You’re a dead man!

Mack: Screw you, shorty. (Realizes that this can continue to an eternity, puts his sword away)
This will not save you. You can no longer wait for the witch, Daria. They're coming.

Scene 21.

The scene switches to the Black riders. The gatekeeper hears them coming to the gate, and walks towards it. The Black riders knock down the gate, and enter Lawrence.

Scene 22.

The scene switches back to the hobbits, who are sleeping. Then we see the Black riders approach, and enter the hobbit rooms. There is a rider standing over each bed, and in unison, they thrust their swords into them. They do this several times, but when they take the blankets off, they find that there was no one sleeping in the beds. They turn over the beds, and ride off.

The scene switches back to Mack, who is sitting by the window with the hobbits, who have awoken.

Daria: What are they?

Mack: They were once Men. Great kings of Men. Then “Mad Dog” the Deceiver gave to them 9 rings of power. Blinded by their greed, they took them without question. One by one, falling to darkness. Now they are slaves to his will. They are the Nazgul. Ringwraiths. Neither living nor dead. At all times they feel the presence of the Ring. Drawn to the Power of the One. They will never stop hunting you.

Scene 23.

The next day, Mack Daddy is seen leading a pony into the countryside, with the Hobbits following him.

Daria: Where are you taking us?

Mack: Into the Wild.

Quinn: How do we know this Mack Daddy is a friend of Amy?

Daria: We have no choice but to trust him.

Jane: But where is he leading us?

Mack: To Rivendell, Mistress Lane, to the House of Landon.

Jane: Did you hear that? Rivendell. We're going to see the Elves.

They walk on for some time. At one point, Mack hears the Hobbits whispering behind him, and realizes that they have stopped.

Mack: (turns around) Ladies. We do not stop 'till nightfall.

Stacy: What about breakfast?

Mack: You've already had it.

Stacy: We've had one, yes. What about second breakfast?

Mack turns around, and continues on.

Quinn: Don't think he knows about second breakfast, Stace.