Title: End of the World
Written by Jennie Shephard
Description: What if Quinn wasn't total shallow but a brain? What the world coming to the end? No just a lot of fun. And a few yeta acts from Jane and Quinn
Type: past and future, alternate history or Miscellaneous
Disclaimer: Daria is subject to copyright and is owned by MTV all Characters are browed from the MTV serious as well as other fanfic on Outpost Daria please forgive me I'm not getting payed for this and I only have $30 in my bank account. Australian dollars mind you so there no point in suing me, I'm open to criticism feel free to email me at email@example.com hopefully this will become a series depending on responses I have a lot of ideas.
This is set from the move to Lawndale on the first day. (Daria is wearing her normal Daria cloths but Quinn is wearing a blue shirt with "some do, some don't, I might" printed on the front with jeans and no midriff showing.
Opening the usual open Splendora lalala at Lawndale high
Jake: Ok girls this is the first day of high school in a new town I expect you two to be on your best behaviour. Not like my father just a knock around the head with no warning.
(around the school everyone is going around doing there business as usual and have made not indication that there are new students)
Quinn: Yes daddy (all ready out of the car)
Daria: Mmm (slowly getting out of the car behind Quinn)
Quinn: (to Daria) You don't think their going to make us go though a psych test again are they?
Daria: Probably just say what I told you to say ok? Dammit it's that principal coming
Miss Li: Heelllloooo girls and welcome to Laawwnnddaaale High were happy to have you. Laawwnnddaaale high has the best reputation in the town and in keeping with that reputation it's compulsory for all student to take a psych test now this wont hurt (softly)much (normal voice) and you wont be graded on it.
(Continuing to show the girls around the grounds finishing up that the psychologist's office)
Mrs Manson: (holding up a silhouette of two people talking) Now Quinn what do you see here.
Quinn: A bunch of wild ponies running over a field of green grass (in a happy cherry voice like she talking to a first grader)
Mrs Manson: Um Daria what do u see
Daria: What she said (indicating to Quinn)
Mrs Manson: Now Doria try and be original we encourage individuality and its two people talking not clouds
Daria: It's Daria D-A-R-I-A , Alright it's two people talking about a wild herd of ponies running free across a field of green grass (also in a condescending tone)
Mrs Manson: Ok I think this test is finished you may go to your classes now I believe Miss Li showed you were to go earlier ( getting frustrated at the both of them writing recommendations to Miss Li. Quinn- Self esteem class and possibly join the year book committee. Daria ? Self esteem class and should join pep squad needs more enthusiasm.
To Mr DeMartino's history class
Mr. DeMartino: Class, we have a new student joining us today. Please welcome Daria Morgendorffer. (As Daria walks into the class room)
Mr. DeMartino: Well, Daria! As long as you're up the front of the class... (Chuckles evilly) Last week we began a unit on westward expansion. Perhaps you feel it's unfair to be asked a question on your first day of class.
Daria: Excuse me?
Mr. DeMartino: Daria, can you concisely and unemotionally sum up for us the doctrine of Manifest Destiny?
Daria: Manifest Destiny was a slogan popular in the 1840s. It was used by people who claimed it was God's will for the U.S. to expand all the way to the Pacific Ocean. These people did not include many Mexicans. (While going to the back row to sit down)
Mr. DeMartino: Very good, Daria. Almost... suspiciously good. All right, class. Who can tell me which war Manifest Destiny was used to justify? (spots a boy in a football uniform, who's seated next to a blonde cheerleader) Kevin! How about you?
Kevin: Um the Vietnam War?
Mr DeMartino: Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! (Bell rings. Everyone walks out)
At the same time Quinn walks into Mr O'Neil's English class
Mr O'Neil: Oh hello you must be Quinn, please come in and tell us about yourself.
Quinn: um I'd rather not you see I'm kinda scare of public speaking and my mother forbids me to participate in any activity that my give me any psychological damage in the future. As I have to cope with fitting in on the first day of a new school and I don't need any added pressure, as peer pressure is already hard enough to deal with.(meanwhile showing no self conciseness while delivering this speech)
Mr O'Neil: (looking scared himself) Oh dear all the poor students I hope there was no damage to them. (starts to look like his about to cry. Bell rings everyone walks out)
Later that day at the Morgendorffer's
(Quinn is on the couch reading The Collected Edition of Emily Dickenson* while Daria is on the next couch watching Sick Sad World what else)
Helen: (walking into the living room with a smile on her face looking at her two daughters) Hi girls, how was your first day at school
Quinn: Well my English teacher has no backbone and is very quick to break down (not looking up from her book)
Helen: O how awful for him I hope he has a good wheel chair (Quinn looking up from her book gives Helen a confused look then at Daria. Who has also looked up from watching TV at hearing Helen response) How about you, Daria, Did you enjoy your first day
Daria: (who has since gone back to watching TV) Oh absolutely, the psychologist only got my name wrong once. The history teacher is only slightly off the rails and their teaching us out of books that are only 50 years out of date all in all a great school and a wonderful day.(being totally sarcastic in the process)
Helen: Will as long as you enjoyed your day (getting more weird looks from both her daughters) Your father should be home soon I'll go get started on diner (goes in kitchen and takes out wait for it . . . . . lasagne)
The family sitting down for dinner
(there all sitting down eating quitly)
Bring bring bring
Helen: (getting up to answer the phone) Hello
Muffled voice: mmmf mmf mf fmfmf f
Helen: Oh, really, yes, yes I understand, Yes I'll talk to them. (hanging up the phone)
Girls I just go a very interesting phone call from your principal.
Daria and Quinn: 60
Daria and Quinn: 50
Helen: Done. Do you want to know what your sentencing is girls?
Quinn: do your worst
Daria: it can't be worse then being a fashion editor*
Helen: Quinn self esteem class and yearbook committee, Daria self esteem class and Cheerleading tryouts
Daria: I take that back it is worse
Helen: Starting tomorrow after school, cheerleading tryouts are next week and the yearbook committee have a welcome meeting on Sunday.
Quinn: the year book committee, I got off easy sorry sis you should be bubblier when trying to be condescending next time
Daria: if there is a next time (giving Quinn a surprised look at how good she had gotten at manipulating psychologists after reading that book she gave her)
The next day after school in Mr O'Neil's self esteem class
(Both Quinn and Daria enter the room and sit at the back of the class)
Quinn: Mum did say we had to attended the class we should at least sit in the middle somewhere
Daria: Grasshopper* she said we had to attend the class not actively participate
(Unknown to Daria and Quinn another unfortunate member of the class looks up at them and thinks to self: they would make interesting subjects and continues to look on with mild interest)
(Mr O'Neill then walks into the room looking very nervous
Mr. O'Neill - Esteem... a teen. They don't really rhyme, do they? The sounds don't quite mesh. And that, in fact, is often the case when it comes to a teen and esteem. The two just don't seem to go together. But we are here to begin realizing your actuality...
Quinn: (to Daria softly) What's he going on about?
(Daria, who had also been taking notes, stops and frowns in confusion, then raises her hand)
Mr. O'Neill - ...and when we do, each and every one of you will be able to stand proudly and proclaim, "I am." Now, before we...
Daria - Excuse me. I have a question.
Mr. O'Neill - Sorry, question and answer time is later.
Daria - I want to know what "realizing your actuality" means.
Mr. O'Neill - It means... look, just let me get through this part, okay? Then there'll be a video! (to entire class) Before we unlock your potential...
(a black-haired girl, clothed in black with a red jacket, leans sideways to speak to Daria)
Jane - He doesn't know what it means. He's got the speech memorized. Just enjoy the nice man's soothing voice.
Daria - How are we supposed to follow him if I don't know what he's talking about?
Jane - I can fill you two in later. I've taken this course six times.
After the Class walking home
(Quinn, Daria and Jane are walking home talking together)
Quinn: ?. And then it gets out that there is Uranium in the drinking water so Mum and Dad decided to move here the end.
Jane: So from one zombie town to the next
Daria: Pretty much sums it up
Jane: Look on the bright side it can't possibly get any worse can't it?
Daria: That's what I said then Mum said I had to try out for the cheerleading squad nest week.
Jane: Bummer what about you? (Asking Quinn)
Quinn: Year book committee
Jane: And to think I had it ruff, it's just me and my brother at home sometimes we get lucky and our parents grace us with there presence. But I can usually can get away with everything. It'll get better or you'll get used to it. (Just then a beaten up car pulls up and we can see there's a good looking guy driving)
Daria: It's looking up now (referring to the driver and not at all sarcastically. Quinn and Jane give Daria surprised looks. Daria then puts her hands quickly over her mouth) did I just say that aloud. (Quinn and Jane both nod there heads)
Good Looking Guy: Hey Janey, who are your friends.
Jane: (looking at Quinn and Daria) Quinn, Daria meet Trent my brother. Trent meet Daria and Quinn they just moved here.
Trent: Cool (giving Daria the eye up and down and liking what he saw. Daria notices and blushes like mad)
Quinn: (Noticing Daria's embarrassment) We had better be getting home our turn to cook dinner. We'll see you tomorrow at lunch see ya (Grabbing Daria's hand and pulling her hand while crossing the road to there house.)
Trent: Was it something I said?
Jane: Idiot (and slaps Trent playfully on the arm) Just scare all my friends away why don't cha
Trent: First I heard of you having any friends at all little sis
Jane: ha ha Point taken so you like Daria don't you? (Jane getting a glitter in her eyes while think of setting the two up)
Trent: I like what I saw but she hasn't got much in the way of conversational skills
Jane: You caught her at a bad moment (laughing inwardly)
Trent: So, pizza?
Jane: Ok you bought my silence for today and no, I'm not giving you her number.
Trent: You know me to well.
Jane: So since when were you interested in high school girls?
Trent: I'm not, well kinda.
Meanwhile at casa Morgendorffer's
Quinn: I'm surprised at you Daria, you actually acknowledge that there was another sex in the universe and have demonstrated that you are just like everyone else deep down inside, wow I never thought I'd see the day (wiping an imaginary tear from her eye) when my older sister got a crush. I'd have to admit I like your taste but a tad bit to old for me but perfect for you, I like mine young and dumb. (Getting and evil smile on her face thinking about the dumb guys Jeffery, Joey and ummm?. Jamie.)
Daria: Quinn please stop, and for god sake don't let mum hear you.
Helen: Don't let me hear what girls (walking in from the kitchen with a big smile on her face obviously hearing every word of her daughter's conversation) Daria I think it's great have crushes is the best part of being a teenager, I remember..
Quinn: MUM! Please spare my innocent ears of your 60's life I'm to young to die.
Helen: oh sorry hehe, um dinners on the table I'm off to a meeting. Your father well be late home tonight too make sure your in bed by 10 if were not home ok girls.
Quinn and Daria: yes mum
Quinn: I wonder what's for tea (sarcastically)
Daria: Thanks a lot
Quinn: How was I to know that she was going to be home now, let alone before 6pm like usual?
Daria: Point taken
(Quinn and Daria enter kitchen and see the lasagne on the table both look down case)
Quinn: Daria since you're the oldest and it's your responsibility to look after me while the parentals aren't here?.
Daria: Already on it (with the phone in hand calling the pizza shop)
The next day at lunch
(Quinn, Daria and Jane are looking over pieces of paper)
Daria: So you have all the answers to the test why haven't you got out of the class yet
Jane: I don't know it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling that someone thinks I'm special and I never had a reason to till now.
Quinn: That sounds like a compliment Jane, your going to make our heads swell and really get rid of our low self esteem.
Daria: I never had low self esteem I just have low esteem for everyone else.
Jane: funny, so what are you two doing this Friday night
Quinn: I have torture in mind but I'm willing to postpone it for something better.
Jane: You doing the torturing or receiving the torture
Jane: Then you better stick to those plans as I'm going to one of my brothers gigs so unless you get pleasure in the sound of cats getting there tails pulled, of course feel free to join me.
Quinn: Pass (both Jane and Quinn look at Daria expectantly)
Daria: Sure, got nothing else planed for Friday yet
Jane: And the thought of chance of perving on my brother never crossed your mind?
Daria: (bushing like mad) Of course not
Creepy voice: Heeeeeelllllo Lusssccciouuusss Laaadies your dream man has just appeared
Daria: You mean my nightmares (giving the guy the once over)
Jane: Beat it Upchuck
Upchuck: Oooooh Fiesty (and walks away)
Jane: You get use to Upchuck I think he was dropped on the head a few times as a baby
Quinn: I thought if you got dropped on the head you end up like Kevin or Brittany no a sex crazed numb skull
Jane: Now don't get confused little one, Kevin and Brittany are a species of there own and are secretly controlled by Miss Li.
Daria: Yes she certainly has that mad professor look doesn't she.
Later that day Mr O'Neill's Self esteem class
Mr. O'Neill - And so, for tomorrow, I want you to make a list of ten ways the world would be a sadder place if you weren't in it.
Boy - Oh, Mr. O'Neill, Mr. O'Neill?!
Mr. O'Neill - Yes, um... you.
Boy - Is that if we'd never been born, or if we died suddenly and unexpectedly?
Mr. O'Neill - Never been born. (bell rings) See you all tomorrow! (to Daria, Quinn and Jane, who have stayed behind) Hi! Did you need clarification on something we covered today?
Daria - We feel really good about ourselves.
Jane - We want to take the graduation test.
Mr. O'Neill - Well! I'm glad your self-image meter is on the up tick! But there's still three more weeks of class left.
Quinn - This first week has been a real eye-opener. It must be the way you teach.
Mr. O'Neill - (flattered) Oh, well... thank you very much. (to Jane) You know, you look familiar somehow...
Daria - So can we take the test?
Mr. O'Neill - Well, it's not the way we usually do it, but... I guess so. (grabs test) Okay, question one: "Self-esteem is important because..."
Daria - It's a quality that will stand us in good stead the rest of our lives.
Mr. O'Neill - Very good. Now, "The next time I start to feel bad about myself..."
Jane - Stand before the mirror, look myself in the eye and say, "You are special. No one else is like you."
Mr. O'Neill - You two really have been paying attention! Okay, "There's no such thing..."
Quinn - As the right weight.
Daria - Or the right height.
Jane - There's only what's right for me.
Quinn - Because me is who I am.
Mr. O'Neill - I don't think we have to go any farther. I am really pleased! I think the whole school needs to hear about this at assembly!
Quinn: But sir remember what I told you about my fear of public speaking
Mr. O'Neill: Of course Quinn and I suppose your mother feels the same way? (asking Daria)
Daria: Since it's the same person I'll have to say yes
Mr. O'Neill: How about you Jane are you confident about getting up on stage and telling the school I'm me and I like me?
Jane: I don't know sir it's so strange not to have low self esteem that maybe if I have to stand on strange where everybody knows I have low self esteem then I'll be subject to there reticle, undoing all the good work to have done for me.
Mr. O'Neill: Oh well (looking nervous) I guess I'll see you around school and feel free to pop into me office at any time if you need ?
Jane, Daria and Quinn: Thanks (all exit class and walk home)
That night at the Morgendorffer's
(The whole family is sitting around the kitchen table eating yes you got it lasagne)
Helen: I'm so proud of my girls to finish self esteem class faster then anyone else in history.
Daria: Yes we certainly get brainwashed faster then anyone else.
Helen: Now Daria there is no need to judge everyone else to your learning ability.
Quinn: She wasn't, there's no learning ability to judge.
Helen: Now girls what are your plans for Friday.
Quinn: I have dates.
Helen: Dates? Quinn.
Quinn: I mean I have a date on Friday night, then a lunch date Saturday, then another on Saturday night and year book committee all day Sunday so I'm booked all weekend
Helen: How about you Daria?
Quinn: She has a date too don't you? Daria.
Helen: (looking surprised at Daria) That's great sweetie who's the lucky guy
Daria: It's not Jeffery, Joey or Jamie, and it's not a date our friend Jane invited both of us to see her brother's band play but as Quinn is all booked it's just me and her.
Quinn: And a guy with car that has a backseat.
Daria: I'd hardly call that a car let alone get in the backseat.
Jake: (looking up from his paper) Backseat, what backseat, Daria your not allowed in the backseat of the car.
Helen: Calm down Jake, Quinn was just joking around. Can't you tell when someone is joking?
Jake: Of course I can, are you making one now?
Helen: Ouuhh, I'll tell you what girls how about if I treat you both to a new outfit since it's the first date for both of you since coming to Lawndale
Quinn and Daria: Sure
The next day at the mall
(We see Quinn, Daria and Jane looking at cloths in a retro shop. Quinn finds a mini skirt and a black top with the words ?Yes! But not with you? printed on the front. Jane finds a blue and purple plaid flannelette shirt that she has been looking for as her red one is getting tattered and has been unable to find a replacement. Daria made the best find of all a orange mini skirt with a black and white chequered top to match and a pair of white combat boots, that had been thrown into the 'reduce to clear? basket.see alter egos)
Quinn: Go Daria (looking at her sister coming out of the dressing room in her new ensemble)
Jane: My brother hasn't got a clue what's going to hit him
Daria: (blushing) Um thanks, I think we have been here long enough so how about we get home and watch some Sick Sad World that way we can have something over that lasagne for dinner.
Quinn: First a trip to the supermarket, I checked the fridge there's nothing in there except frozen lasagne. I think mum is scared that dad might try cooking again and after the time we spent in hospital I'm with her on that one
Daria: Damn and I thought that was from the water, so Martha Stewart what did you have in mind for dinner?
Quinn: No tomato, no mince, no cheese and no pasta
Daria: In other words anything, other than Lasagne
Quinn: Ding ding ding, that is correct and the winning prize is ?..
Jane: A date with Trent and he's sister's blessings
Daria: I already had that well except that date part.
Friday night ? casa Morgendorffer's
Helen: I'll get it, (opens door to a well dressed Trent with all he's tats covered) Hello I'm Helen Morgendorffer.
Trent: hey I'm Trent Lane I'm here to pick up Daria.
Helen: Yes of course you are. Daria your date's here!
Daria: (coming down the stairs wearing her new outfit blushing at her mothers yelling) Hey Trent, I'm ready when you are, where's Jane?
Trent: She's still at home she told me to come and get you first as she was still getting ready.
Daria: oh ok see ya mum, see ya dad, bye Quinn!
Quinn: Have fun and tell me about it every gory detail. What the name of the place again?
Daria: The Zen, Quinn your date's here too. (Daria looking at the sleek car that just pulled up behind Trent's)
Quinn: About time I've been waiting for ten minute it's just not polite to keep a girl waiting and not very attractive for a guy to take longer to get ready then a girl. There only so much gel you can put in your hair.
Daria: That was Quinn she smart, beautiful and has the tendency to eat guys for dinner*.
Trent: Good one (laughs/coughs)
Daria: So Jane said we were going to see your band play tonight she didn't say the name.
Trent: it's Mystic Spiral but were thinking of changing it.
Daria: sounds like a doors cover band you don't play doors covers do you
Trent: no (dose that cough/laugh thing, pulling up at casa Lane)
Jane:(gets in the car)Ok lets go.
At the Zen
(Trent and band members get up on stage and start to play ?Icebox Woman?)
Daria: I was wrong and so were you. Their not a Door's cover band and the sound there making isn't as pleasing as cat's screaming. It's more like fingernails on a blackboard.
Jane: Told ya it was torture. I'm just here for the scenery (eye glazed over looking at the bass guitarist) so shut up and enjoy it to or dance with the rest of the intoxicated.
Daria: Oh I'm not complaining about the scenery if anything that's very pleasing to the eye. (Her eye's are just as glazed over as Jane's)
Mysterious voice knocking both Jane and Daria out of there daydream: Oh my god Daria I hope you bought spare earplugs with you?
Daria: (looking up and seeing Quinn) What are you doing here? I though you were out for a meal?
Quinn: Does that mean you didn't bring spares?
Daria: I didn't bring any.
Quinn: Darn, I got bored with Jeffery there only so many complements a person can take. So I got him to drop me off here so I can have a bit of fun and make sure you do as well. And besides I wanted to see the local talent but as far as me hearing goes there isn't any.
Daria and Jane: But the scenery is worth it. (Both laughing at Quinn's speech)
(Music stops the three girls all sigh in relief)
Trent: So you ready to go, but first the band and I wanna stop for a feed. Pizza?
The three girls: Yes
Daria: You've already eaten Quinn.
Quinn: Have you ever dinner in a French restaurant that gave you more than a mouth of food for under $20, which was what Jeffery's limit was.
Jane: Double ouch what was the name of the place (while walking to the car pausing to ask)
Quinn: Chez Pierre? Hey Daria, don't forget what dad said.
Daria: Which was?? (Trying to remember after all not ever really listening to Jake)
Quinn: About not being allowed in the backseat of a guy's car.
Jane: You better sit up front with Trent then Daria, you wouldn't wont to disobey your father now would you. (Catching on to what Quinn was doing)
Daria: (softly to Jane and Quinn) you know that's not what he meant
Trent: Not allowed to get into the back seat of a guy's car then how are you suppose to make out with a (then realizing Jake's meaning) Oh.
Daria: (softly again to Jane and Quinn) You'll pay for that
Jane: I'm looking forward to it.
Quinn: As am I. I learn everything from her and am still keen to learn more.
---oo0 The End 0oo---
Quinn reading the "Collected works of Emily Dickenson" comes from it being one of Daria's favourite poets so it's understandable for it to be one of Quinn's as will if she is trying to follow in Daria's footsteps.
As for Daria being the editor of a fashion collum. In Daria: the rumoured movie it says that at Highland High Daria was fashion editor of the school newspaper.
Grasshopper implies that Daria is training Quinn to be the masters of something I wounder what?
The snide remark about Quinn eating guys for dinner also comes from the Daria: the rumoured movie. See advertisements.